Bianca Oliveira ~ Home, Heart, and Practice: Living the Ashtanga Yoga Journey

Bianca Oliveira is a seasoned Ashtanga yoga instructor originally from Brazil, now residing and teaching in Katowice, Poland. With a rich history of yoga practices extending over multiple international locations, Bianca has dedicated much of her professional life to mastering and teaching Ashtanga yoga. She is an authorized Ashtanga yoga teacher, achieving this distinction under the tutelage of Sharath Jois. Previously, Bianca lived in the United States, where she contributed to the vibrant yoga community and further honed her teaching skills. She is also a dedicated mother and integrates her family life deeply within her yoga practice and teachings.

Visit Bianca on her website https://www.ashtangayogakatowice.com/

Key Takeaways:

• Bianca Oliveira's journey from a novice to an authorized Ashtanga yoga teacher illuminates the transformative power of dedicated practice and global exploration.
• The unexpected passing of Sharath Jois serves as a poignant reminder of life's impermanence and the importance of maintaining a multifaceted approach to yoga practice that includes philosophical study.
• Bianca's story illustrates the importance of support networks within the yoga community, especially during times of collective grief and transition.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Embracing Impermanence Through Yoga and Spiritual Practice
• 0:03 Bianca Oliveira Balances Yoga Teaching and Motherhood in Poland
• 5:09 Bianca's Journey from Circus Performer to Ashtanga Yoga Teacher
• 14:26 Bianca Oliveira's Journey to Ashtanga Yoga Authorization
• 23:11 Coping with Loss and Continuing a Legacy in Yoga
• 30:59 Continuing Ashtanga Practice and Legacy Amidst Uncertainty
• 37:25 Bianca Oliveira's Upcoming Retreats in Bali and the Dolomites
• 46:06 Balancing Family, Travel, and Safety Concerns
• 49:13 Reflecting on Parenthood as Children Grow Up
• 50:28 Finding Joy and Gratitude Amidst Life's Impermanence

Transcript

0:33

Welcome to Native Yoga Toddcast, so happy you are here. My goal with this channel is to bring inspirational speakers to the mic in the field of yoga, massage, body work and beyond. Follow us at @nativeyoga and check us out at nativeyogacenter.com. All right, let's begin. Welcome to Native Yoga Toddcast. I feel grateful to have this special guest here for you today, Bianca Oliveira. And Bianca is originally from Brazil and currently living in Poland. You can find her on her website, https://www.ashtangayogakatowice.com/, and she has three Instagram handles that she works off, highlighting different aspects of her yoga journey. You can find her at @biancayoga, at@AshtangaYogakatowice, and also at @Ashtangaretreats. She'll be hosting retreat in Ubud in Bali coming up soon, and also in the Dolomites in Italy, sounds incredible, doesn't it? I'm so grateful for Bianca to share her open, honest, raw feelings about her ashtanga yoga practice. She was here in the United States when Sharath Jois passed away. She and she shares her feelings, thoughts and emotions regarding what that was all like. And I'm grateful for this opportunity to bring you. Bianca Oliveira, let's begin. I'm so happy to have this opportunity to meet and speak with Bianca Oliveira. Bianca, thank you so much for joining me today, and how's your day going so far? Thank you for having me. First of all, my day is going pretty common too, because it's Monday today, so I'm not teaching, I'm not practicing, I'm just enjoying myself. Of course, I have my responsibilities as a mother, I needed to go for my son in one hour or so, but so far less things to do, which feels nice, yes, because today is the Lunar New Year, the new moon signifying, I guess, the lunar calendar New Year. So it's a, I guess, a super special new moon, but you have the day off, which is incredible. And, and you're, you're located in Poland, yes, yes, I'm in the south of Poland. And you have Ashtanga Yoga Katowice, which is your online and in person teaching, what is your in person teaching? Look like in Poland? Ari, do you have a studio? Do you teach at a yoga studio? Are you going doing privates at people's houses? What is your in person practice look like right now? So I had a very long break from my in person classes because I was traveling a lot to India and I was spending many months in Asia. So it didn't make sense for me to keep like a commercial place. But many things has changed, and I when I came back Now recently, I decided to to rent a place and to open my space. But for now, my classes have only opportunity to happen during the evening hours, which is a bit difficult for me, because in the evening, I'm usually like ran out and I like to go to bed early. However, the people here in Poland and especially my city, they're, they're happier with evening hours for classes and practice then early morning. So they are very happy about that. My students, I'm kind of getting used to it. And yeah, we'll see how it goes on the next months. And if I get like, some morning hours, I will teach also in the morning, the morning hours mostly online. Gotcha. Does that mean that you're renting a space, but the space is only available in the evening? Yes, exactly. Gotcha. Gotcha, is it in a dance studio or a yoga studio? Or what type of spaces like a cultural center for kids and teenagers? It's a very traditional place in Katowice and also in Poland, because this is a branch of a cultural space. So lots of things are happening there, like dance classes, music classes, swimming classes, gymnastics and, yeah, all kind of stuff. And there is a very nice yoga room, like a yoga Shala, but it's mostly occupied now during the day and so and early morning, I'm kind of busy with my son for school, so if I have to teach there before my school, this school of my son, I had to start super early in the morning, which my students were not gonna be happy about. So yeah, is the culture? Is the culture in Poland, a little more like Spain, where everything comes to life, like later, later at night, and it's not similar culturally. But people go to work around seven and then come back around, you know, six o'clock. So, yeah, they go to bed late usually, and to tell them like, Okay, you needed to be ready six o'clock for class, that means that they need to wake up between maybe 4:30am five o'clock. It's like a nightmare. Maybe work for one week, and then they are like, run out. Yeah, so yeah little but I'll try to make it happen a more like early morning class. But for now, this is what it is. But in the past, I was teaching in the morning and also some late afternoons, and I I always had more people practicing the evening hours than in the morning. So it's just how it is here. I don't know that makes sense. I mean, obviously we're in the middle of winter right now. I'm thinking it has to be quite cold there. Yeah, it's cold and it's very dark, so that's makes the process a bit harder to yeah, getting up at 4am in the dark cold is a little more challenging, isn't it, than than being in India and getting on a little motorbike and cruise in? Yeah, definitely. Well, how did you how did you end up in Poland? My husband is Polish Nice. Where'd you guys meet? We met in my store in India. Wonderful. And he's a practitioner as well yoga. Yeah, he's practicing, yeah, when we met, he we were both practicing with Saraswati in my store. Yeah. Wonderful, yeah, amazing. He had his faces coming and going, but now he's more more steady on his practice. So yeah, he's practicing nice. And how old is your son? Eight? Eight. Nice. Congratulations. It's amazing, isn't it? Yes, very cool. And how did you so you're originally from Brazil, and what was your first move from Brazil? Like, how old were you and where did you go first? I moved from Brazil around 2009 let's see. I was 23 or 24 and I moved to states. Actually, I moved to United States, and I stayed there for about seven years, and I was living in North Carolina the last few years. Yeah, nice, until I went to India, and then I met my Polish husband, yes, so and so. When, Where did you first practice yoga? I first practiced yoga in Brazil when I was about 1718, years old because I had some back pain, and my grandmother, she advised me to try some yoga class that was close by to our house. I have no idea what style of yoga it was. I think it was some type of hatha yoga. And, yeah, I remember I did my first class, and I was dying. It was really funny, because it was very simple postures, but I felt like so many sensations, like my it was my heart was speeding up and like I felt dizzy, and it was all those much older ladies on their 50s and 60s, doing completely fine. And I was so young, and I was like, Oh my gosh, how they do it. And but, of course, I was very young, and I had other interests. I was in college, and, you know, my mind was in. To partying and drinking and doing other things. And after a few months, I didn't, you know, I didn't continue. However, I noticed that the back discomfort improved, and I also felt less anxious after the classes. So I think even though I didn't continue, I knew that I have found some type of tool to help me, even though it was kind of unconscious. Yes, this this amazing. And from at that point when you started to get re inspired to practice, what, what did, what was the circumstances that led to that? So I was living in United States, but I don't I went to United States to join a circus. So, like, big, long story, I joined the Ringling Brothers, Vernon and Daly. Wow. Yes, of course, of course, you joined the you joined the circus. Like, what so did you with? What skill? What was your performance? Nice? So I used to dance as a teenager, but nothing like professionally. But I don't know. This opportunity came up, and I took it very so went to United States and I I met my husband there, my first husband, and after two years living in the circus, I felt like, this is too crazy. I just need like, a normal living situation, you know, a house, a dog, and we moved to a little town, and I suddenly felt very lonely. I didn't have my circus family, all the Brazilian girls, the group, and, yeah, I just felt like that I was getting anxious and a bit depressed, and which was already my tendencies and the situation just aggravated. So I decided that I that I had to try something healthy for myself, for my mental health. So I joined some yoga class. It was very far away from the place where we were living, like one hour away by car. So I was making the effort to go twice a week. I also don't know the style of the yoga class it was there maybe some Hatha Yoga, Iyengar things, and but then we moved to a different city, and in this city, there was like one yoga school that they offer, also teaching trainings. So I joined this yoga school, and I was trying to battle this depression and anxiety. So I was joining the classes, like two three times a day. I bought, like an open pass, and I was going all the time to this studio until they they opened this teaching training. And I I also sign up for that too, because I felt like I just want to learn more about this, this practice. So then things started like, slowly get more like a very established, like a established practice for me, nice, very cool. And then I'm curious, because you're an authorized Ashtanga Yoga teacher, at what point did you take your first ashtanga yoga class? So when I joined this teaching training, it was like a Vinyasa teaching training. And then at some point, the the main teacher, she had to tell us what this vinyasa practice comes from the roots, and she put a DVD on the projector. The name the DVD was Ashtanga Yoga New York. I don't know if you have seen it. Yeah, by with Ed Easter, oh, yeah, who produced that? I'm not sure, but I don't remember, like an interview, yes, yeah, I think maybe with Ed Eastern. I don't know, but it was like some interviews with really famous people and showing some clips of the practice in New York with patab Joyce and Sarah Joyce. And I remember I got fascinated and having like a dance background, I was like, Oh my gosh, that looks like such a beautiful choreography. And I also felt fascinated about this discipline that everybody had and this devotion. And for me, it was like beautiful ingredients to have in the practice, because I was struggling a little bit with, like, having one thing and repeating in a daily basis. And then after seeing this documentary, I felt like I have found, like, a practice that would suit my needs, nice and yeah, but I didn't have an. Ashtanga teacher there, and it was a Vinyasa studio. So yeah, it was very difficult in the beginning to kind of establish the Ashtanga practice in my life. But yeah, I just kept trying. My teacher invited a friend that has been my source. So he came and he gave like an Ashtanga class introduction, and I got fascinated as well. And then in the end of the class, he told me, Well, I noticed you really like this practice. And in few months, Sharad Joyce and his mother will be in America doing a tour, and you should sign up and go. And I was like, Oh, that's awesome. Okay, I will do that. So I told my teacher, and she said, you crazy. You shouldn't go. You don't even know the sequence. What are you gonna do there? But then I bought the David swalson book, and I started studying at home, the postures, the photos and stuff and I went amazing. Was that when they were in Miami or in New York, it was in, actually, in Greenwich, in Connecticut, yeah, yeah, very cool. And so what was your experience there you had, you know, I can attest to that similar feeling of learning from external resources, books, DVDs, and then all of a sudden, you're in the real thing, and you feel very green. I felt so green, like, I'm so nervous. Like, I was really, really nervous. What was your experience of that first, not that nervous, because I was so naive, I didn't even know how big, you know, shout out George. He was back, you know, in that time and satisfaction and the whole system. And so I was, like, just this happy, five years old feeling kid going to something fun. Yeah, I didn't, yeah. I was not very nervous. Well, that's cool. Yeah, that's awesome. I mean, I would imagine, if you've been performing at the ringing Ringling Brothers, Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey. Is that how I say, I can't remember exactly how it's the whole, the whole title, if you've been used to performing in front of crowds, and not to say that going to an astronaut yoga workshop is like performing in front of a crowd, but I would imagine that you I could see why. Maybe you wouldn't be intimidated. I don't know. I can feel easily intimidated by people and attention. Yeah, and like I always had this even before performing in the circles, I always get this nervous feeling in the belly. I was never completely relaxed. I think it's, I don't know. Maybe it's normal, maybe it's not, but, yeah, do you remember when the opening mantra was done for the first time and you're in a large group? Did that give you any sort of feeling? Yeah, it felt really magical. It felt very special, because I had never practiced with such amount of people together. And this sounds all your senses get so, you know, yes, yeah, it was amazing. That's cool. And so I'm gathering you had an a very good experience. So what happens after this? So my first meeting with him, my first class, it was actually my first standard class. I considered I felt kind of baptized or something kind of reborn inside me. I felt so good and so happy. And on the last class, he was giving a conference, and he said, keep practicing, and I will see you in my store. He said to to everybody, right? But I took very personal, yeah? So I was like, Okay, I'm gonna keep practicing, and I'm now I have to go to my store. I don't even know what it is, but I have Bianca. That's awesome. I love that enthusiasm, like, where you're just like, Oh man, I found what I want to do. This is, this is where I'm at. That's so cool. So then fast forward, how much time was there between that and your first trip to Mysore? It, it's it was. It took me two years. I wish I could go earlier, but I could not go immediately there because of responsibilities and work, and took me two years to finally go to my store. And the first time I got to send an application, I was already working in person with Tim Feldman, and he was guiding me through the intermediate series. So when I sent my application. Into the shalom. There was a question back in the day that it was asking if you're a beginner or not. And I put beginner, I don't know, I found myself beginner, so I put beginner, and then he sent back an email saying, like, if you're a beginner, please sign up with my mother, with Saraswati. And I was like, oh, but I'm already practicing the intermediate series with Tim Feldman. And then he said, Well, next, next time, try again and do not put beginner. But I lost. You know, it was too late. The applications, they were completely closed, but I want to go to my store anyway, so I sent my application to practice with Saraswati, and I went, nice, yeah, well, I love the fact that you took the path of humility and said, I'm a beginner. Because, like, maybe I wanted too low, but I could be already practicing with him, but, you know, things are the way they are, and it was how I felt in my mind back then, and I really like practicing with Sara Swati. Did you have a good experience? Oh, yes, amazing. She's so nice. I didn't meet patavi Joyce, but people say that she really resemble her father. She's like sweet, but at the same time, very strict. Yeah, yeah. I had an amazing experience with her. I went to her twice, actually, nice, yeah, as I really enjoyed. That's cool. I And did you, what was your feelings and thoughts on your first was that your first visit to India? Yes, yes. What was like that? What was that like for you? So my first visit was also because team, he kind of pushed me a little bit to go. He said to me to join his retreating Goa with Kino and and then i i could go to my store and practice. And I was like, All right, so go. It's more, I would say touristic, and it didn't shock me that much. And then we, we went out to my store, which is more, let's say less touristic. Yes, it especially, you know, few years ago, there was less restaurants and things there, but at the same time, the the cultural shock that everybody talks about it was not that much. You know, for me, because I'm from Brazil, and many things in Brazil, especially more in the, let's say, rural or in the countryside, it's it can have some similarities. But yeah, some things you never get used to, like the lack sometimes you know the power disappear, no electricity, and you never know when it's coming back. And yes, yeah, overall, it was not that super shocking for me, I would say it so it felt more like home. Yeah, that's so cool. Bianca, I love hearing that perspective. I haven't heard anybody mention that often I hear people say, like, oh, wow, this that was challenging. That was so different. I love hearing that you were like, yeah, it was, it was like, not. It was natural for me. It wasn't like, you know, this massive, like, culture shock experience. And so then, when we first got in the conversation, you had made mention that you've been spending a lot of time in India before, where you know you're settled now. So then you've made multiple trips you continued. And obviously you you went in the track of working toward authorization and and can you tell me a little bit about that process. Um, yeah, after I practice twice with Sarasvati, I could finally get in my application to practice with sharaji, and I got authorized by him on my third trip, but between, before getting the authorization, I was also practicing between the seasons in the school, doing like the the they call the regular classes. They have local authorized teachers teaching regular classes. And right now, as an authorized teacher, I cannot, it's a new rule. I cannot practice and do the regular classes anymore. But one year, two years ago, we used to could do it. So I was there all the time. I would say, when I was not practicing with him, I still wants to be in the Shala and. Have this Shala energy and I could still get to his conferences. I wanted to spend as much time as I could in that environment and close to my teacher, even though sometimes I could not practice with him, I would still like just be around and get to his conferences. And, yeah, as much as I could and my family could also be with me, because we had, like, flexible schedule, so we're all in India together as a family, which make the whole process also much easier. Yeah, amazing. So your son had grown up for a few of the years out of his eight in India. Yeah, we were homeschooling him in India. And, yeah, very cool. Where were you when the news of Sharat passing happened? Were you in Poland, or were you here in the States? I was with him, actually, wow. Bianca, yeah, well, yeah, you're the first person I'm getting to talk to that was actually here for during when that happened. What was that like? It was so unexpected and so shocking, extremely sad, and everybody that were there, we felt that we're in some type of different reality. It was so weird. It's like, I can't find words. Yeah, it he was completely fine, and we're having the classes, and he decided to to go to this national park for a hike. So we, we most of these students went. We all went with him. And it just happened there, out of the blue, wow. So, and it was interesting. So such a weird day. I was, I was in shock. I came into our studio, and my wife had sent me the the news, and I just was like, I just floored me, because I, you know, I'm about this. We're about I'm close in age. And I just went, anytime anybody like your same age passes so quickly. I just had this moment of like, Oh, my goodness. I really need to embrace life. Yeah, I feel like, you know, a person that had, like, a healthy lifestyle, eating everything, that it's very controlled and healthy and practicing yoga for a long time, and it happened. Yeah, it does. It does, oh, man, I'm so sorry. Bianca, I'm sure that was like, really, really surreal, like the way you explained it, like we all felt like we were in a different reality, or a different that would have that I can, I can get that so surreal. It's yeah, we were all in shock, completely in shock, and still, like I have noticed that we made lots of progress as a community, but grieving has those waves and phases, right? It's like one day you accept and you feel you know it is what it is, and and then the next day you feel like so sad, because you know you're never gonna be able to physically be with the person again. And, yeah, it's so weird. I understand so you, I'm thinking that probably you were planning to finish that conference and and then travel back to Poland. So then, did you come back early, or did you stay in Virginia, for a little while, I stayed, yeah, like, I just, you know, continued the plan as it was. We all stayed there, and we decided to practice together and to honor the practice and his teachings. And, yeah, what was that like? It was very, very weird to practice without him, especially there, because we're, you know, it was you're there, yeah, yeah, to be with him. And it was very sad, but also healing, yes, and gave us this, this experience to to have those two extremes together, like extremely gratitude. Uh, being so grateful to be there together and feel the healing happening and also feeling very sad and with such deep grief. So like those two things together. When I saw the picture that Tim posted of his shoes in the room, I just was like, that also made me lose it too. I just without that photo in his post, I got so emotional, just that feeling of like, here, one moment gone the next, and then all I could think about is his wife and his children. I just thought, yeah, it was scary to see Sharada. She came first because she was the closest, right? She was in New York City, and so she arrived in the next day, and it was so sad to see her. But she's very strong. She broke down when she also took the shoes, and she broke down, and then she composed herself, and she said, My family will be here tomorrow. Please be strong. Don't cry. So I also don't cry, and I give them the support that they needed. So yeah, she's young this, yeah, she's very strong. And wow, Bianca, and so when you, when you came home, you already, I'm I'm gathering you already had your community of practitioners in katavidze. Did you did? What was that experience like coming home? Because obviously all your students had heard the news, and now you're coming back into lead class. What did that feel like? Well, all these students, they were very supportive. They all send messages saying that, you know, we need to keep practicing, that we needed to as he's direct student, I needed to represent the his teachings and keep teaching them. So that was nice, and we did, like a little ceremony in my house, like with some mantras and lead practice, yeah, and then, but I was not teaching, like daily. I just did this, like during the weekend in my house for like, close students and whoever wanted to come. But yeah, I was just like, very sad somehow. Like, I feel like in the beginning, we all felt very, very lost, as he's his student. Like, where should we go now? Like, like, if we're like, kids without the the parents, you know, yeah, yeah, but I think it's slowly we are finding the strength in the community and to keep the to keep the practice and the teachings going. Because I think he would love to see that we continue practicing. He would be very angry if we just stopped at this. Yeah, everybody stopped at the same time. There's no way that's going to happen. I don't think yeah, I'm happy about that. Yeah. That is what's pretty incredible about a legacy, in relation to building a legacy and then and then letting it continue on. That's, that's an amazing thing. How are you feeling these days? Bianca, it sounds like you're processing everything well and health in a healthy way. Like, if you were just like jumping up and down and like not acknowledging the grief, I would think, Oh boy, you know, but you seem like you're navigating it in a healthy way. Do would you agree, dude, yeah, yeah. I think the practice gives some necessary tools to keep us grounded, um, to observe our emotions. Um, I think about Guruji every day. I have his photo right in front of my yoga mat. He's smiling, so when I step on my yoga mat, I know he's happy, but I have my my bad moments where I felt very, very sad and I was crying a lot, but again, like I had to teach, and teaching kind of helps this process of grief. I was supposed to be my store now in February, but I start my regular. Program now again, and I have committed students for it, so I had to cancel my upcoming trip, but I do wish to go to the next season. I know there will be other other opportunities to be there and practicing. Inshallah, even though sharaji is not there, and I am looking forward to come back to Mysore, and also to to have this new opportunity of healing there, to to practice in the Shala without having him there physically for us, there'll be also a different and profound experience. I would say, yeah. Is there any speculation and or clear idea about what the future of practice in Mysore, Ashtanga practice in Mysore will entail? Do you think some of the will become more of like a community driven experience with no one leading force, or is there talk of one person attempting to be the guiding the guiding force? We don't know right now. We're just practicing patience. We do know that from their own words from Shruti, his wife, and from shraddha, they they really want the practice to continue. They want us to keep teaching. They want us to keep practicing Shra she has been practicing since COVID times, and we all know she's taking very seriously, but she's very young, and she now, she just started her university in New York City, so she has other priorities, but maybe time will tell. I know right now in my store, people are practicing, and the certified teachers, they are assisting and giving you postures when is when its necessary. Yeah. So they're kind of controlling the room together, I would say. And I heard many positive feedbacks from from my friends cool and and his wife is there shoulder G, she's like giving support. And we'll see, maybe next season that you do something very similar, in which the the senior teachers, or certified teachers, they will be assisting the students and giving postures and and maybe in the future, when Sharada, she feels ready, she can step in. I don't know it's like a big interrogation mark right now. Yes, but I feel like it's slowly we're finding a system in the Shaolin to continue this practice and continue to learn something, and maybe they can kind of copy or get inspired by other schools of traditional, traditional yoga, like, for example, Iyengar. He's not there anymore, but still, the school have their process of, you know, teaching authorizations and so on so on. So yes, and there's potential for great growth, anytime there's this sort of sadness and challenge. So I hear you. I think, well, thank you so much for sharing all that with me. I really appreciate you opening up in and being honest and just talking about all that. Thank you. Thank you. What I know you have a strong you offer retreats. I know you have an Instagram handle, which I have the links below, everyone can click and follow you. Do you have any retreats planned in the future? Yes, I I'm organizing retreating new good Bali. Oh man, next month, amazing, beginning of March. Yeah, it's a very nice place. And Ubud, have you been there? I have. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. And the SPAS there are incredible. People had told me about all the different spas they have an Ubud, and I thought, okay, and some of the decor and the the art and the architecture and yes, feeling, oh my gosh, it's so amazing. Yeah, so nice. It's such a special, beautiful place. So I'm looking forward to go back there. How long is a retreat? A week? Or longer, a week, yeah, a week, yes, amazing, yes. And the place is like. Like in the middle of the rice fields. So the any it's in your boot, but at the same time, it's like, not in the crowd Ubud, more like in the nature side, nice. So I'm looking forward, and in the end of June, I'm planning retreating the Dolomites. It's the in the Italian mountains, is a very unique and special place. How did you find that place? Have you traveled there, specifically found the location and then decided to do or you've heard through word of mouth that it's really amazing, and you're Yeah, word of mouth that is really amazing. I really like to travel, but to destinations where I feel I can have contact with nature. So I felt like that would be a very nice place. Yeah, to have will be also will be summer solstice, very cool times. It could be very nice have a neighbor that went and she brought back photos, and it looks so spectacular. And she said some of the hikes are so amazing, and, like, hairy too, like, right on the edge, like, you're out on this path, and it's like a sheer drop. And, you know, I don't know if that's what you're planning to do, but she said some of the hikes were just unbelievable. Yeah, I don't know. I just have seen the photos, and I was fascinated. That looks amazing. It does that's cool. Bianca, when you do that, does your does your husband and son stay home? Or do you guys travel as a family together? Or does your son go with you? What is, how do you manage holding and hosting retreats as a mom? Well, it depends most of my retreats, they found a way to join but now, because of school, is getting harder and harder to take him out. So yeah, they do want to join me, like my husband wants to join me for Bali, for example. And we need to make some special requests for for him, for, I mean, to our son, for, for the teacher in the school, and we don't know how they're gonna react about it. So now we need to wait and see we're taking our son and what they can maybe say, no, no, you're not. Or he can't graduate this year if you do. Or, yeah, that's how. I don't know how it works, but, like, not in Poland, but I know in UK, when you take your kid out that it's not like, the kid's not sick, and you just want to take out. And sometimes they because it's not like, I don't know, some important reason you need to pay per day. The absence of the kids in the school, you have to, you pay, you pay for it. Yeah, all right, yes. And the kids have a risk of losing this spot as well in this school. Got it? Yeah, there's so much to parenting, isn't there that you just don't think about when you embark on the incredible journey. And then, and then I remember, I was down at the beach, and I told somebody I was into kite surfing, and I said to him, oh, you know, I'm getting ready to have my first child. And and they're like, Well, you're not going to be coming here and kite surfing anymore. I'm like, What are you talking about? Like, I'm going to be doing everything that I'm doing right now that's not gonna change anything in my life, and then and then, and then the reality. And you're like, Oh yeah, my life is definitely gonna change. For sure, this is a whole new level, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. Yeah, yeah, no, you still can push and, you know, and do your troubles and stuff, but definitely it's not that super easy as the kid grows. I would say, like, for example, the last time we were in India for a few months, my son was already complaining, like, I want to go back home. I want to go back to my room and my toys and my friends. So slowly, you know, yeah, 100% their their social life at home is like, it's hard to pull them out of it. How about how about your? Is your extended family still a part of it in Brazil? Yes, my mom and my father and my two sisters, yeah. Are they missing? Are they missing you terribly, like having access to you and their grand grandson, I think they miss more my son. Yeah, like, I don't miss me, but yeah, they like, yeah, they miss more my son, for sure, because I always like to travel and you know, I was always gone from from House since I was very young, and I think they got used to it. But after my son born, they they kind of they're more needy. I would say, you need to call. Need to make video calls. I want to see him. I want to know what he's doing. So, yeah, do you. Think you and your family, your husband and son, would move back to Brazil. Well, he has come up with this idea some time ago. And he come up with this idea from time to time, the weather is much better there, that's for sure. And the the nature and everything. But, you know, after I had my son, I'm so concerned about his safety, and I feel like in Europe, it's I feel less stress, and more I feel more safe somehow than like going back to Brazil, especially if you move into a big city, I would have to find a place that is, like, more secluded, safe and not, you know, over populated. I would say, yeah, yeah, interesting, yeah. I think for growing a child, or, you know, like to have, like, a more safe childhood or teenage years seems a better option than going back to Brazil. Maybe I'm only paranoid. I don't know, but it's just how I feel. Oh, I totally respect that I understand exactly what you're saying. I put so much time and energy into thinking all I want to do is maintain a safe and happy environment for my for my family. Like, I just feel like, that's like my I just put so much mental attention on that's all I care about. So I totally get what you're saying. Bianca, yeah, yeah, it's so important. That's cool. Well, you're a great mom, that's what it takes. So I try, I try. Oh my gosh, Bianca, I love hearing your story. I'm so grateful to have this chance to meet you. Do you have Is there anything that from the aspect of myself and those of us listening, we all love yoga. This is a yoga podcast, and maybe sometimes, like, if I ask you this question, what can you leave us with in terms of motivation and or inspiration to continue to practice? I mean, I really appreciate everything you had to say and share about this transition, transitional experience of having a deep, devoted relationship with a teacher, going through that loss and separation, but like finding the power to move forward and continue and continue the legacy and that that idea, and so maybe it's hard to come up with something motivational and inspirational, but I'm curious, do you have, I mean, your whole everything you've told me has already accomplished this goal, but I guess I'm just trying to think of a way in terms of steering our conversation toward a close. Is there anything that you'd like to add and or thoughts or feelings, I think more than ever, like at this moment, I know like sometimes, our intention in the practice change from time to time, and the motivation also change, but more than ever now I feel like the this practice and what mighty teacher left as a last lesson for me and for many students is that everything that we're living is temporary, and if we get attached to this idea of permanence, we just suffer. So with his unexpected death, we we felt like we are all suffering so much because we cannot accept this idea of change and and knowing that we live in when you know things are not permanent, right? We need to accept this lesson our impermanence and knowing that the only thing that really stays is the soul and the connection with the divine, or God, or however you want to say, and yeah, just navigating and learning how to to live the life in this body, in this form, but, you know, not getting attached to to life as it is, because everything change in one fraction of second. And I think the practice somehow helps the practice the physical practice helps for us to get in touch with this more subtle feelings and emotions that we can regulate, but also very important to to dive deeper in the philosophical texts of yoga so we can understand. All those questions on suffering, like all those questions we have, why we're here, where we're going to go, why we suffer, is that I meant for suffering and all those things. So I think we fit. Take the practice as a whole, not only physical, but also the studies, the self studies, we can have like a good base to progress spiritually in the practice. Well said. Bianca, thank you. Thank you so much. Thanks so much too. Was really nice, and I hope you How was your son or your daughter? My I have a 18 year old son, and I have an 11 year old daughter. My son's name is Ethan, my daughter's name is Priya. I know my son is getting ready to go to university next year. So you look so young. You're so sweet. Well, yes, it happens. I was coming out of the studio yesterday, and there was this mom with her baby in the stroller. And I, I came. I said, oh my. How old your son? She said, He's nine weeks old. And I said, Oh, congratulations. I was I said, you know, my son is 18 now getting ready to go to university. I said, I just can't even believe it, like he was that little tiny. I said, I know there's no way you probably believe that's going to happen right now, because I remember when my son was so tiny, like that. You know, you're not sleeping, you're you're like, really in the throes of being a parent and and people come up to me and say, Oh, enjoy it. It's so amazing. Like, this is such a great time. And I remember thinking, Are you kidding me? This is the hardest thing ever. This is never going to change. And you're right. Everything does change, and it happens in a snap. And so now that my son is getting ready to leave, I'm just so grateful that I have my daughter and that we have for a few more years with her too, you know, in the house and not. And I look at everything too, like I got a chance to make him breakfast yesterday, and I was, I almost had this moment of like, I don't want to, like, happy, sad, but like, this might be like, how many more times and I can be able to make him breakfast before he goes off. Like, I'm just cherishing every little moment right now, and I agree so much with what you're saying, Bianca, about like recognizing the impermanence and somehow not letting that like, like processing grief and being honest with grief, but at the same time finding the joy in the I know that sounds crazy, joy and the suffering, the joy and the impermanence, yeah, I agree. Also, I feel like it gives some type also joy for you to enjoy the present moment, because, you know, like life is so fragile and everything changes so quickly or anytime when we don't expect and you take the present moment as a beautiful gift you like is the only moment I really have, because the past is gone, the future is a projection. And yeah, right now, let's enjoy the breakfast with my daughter. Yeah, because you never can happen. And this, it's a beautiful realization to like to feel very grateful and really present. So yeah, it's again, this kind of, this concept that is a bit hard to have, like this sadness and grief and not acceptance of things, and at the same time, have space to be very grateful and somehow have, like a deep joy of being in the Present Moment. So I think that's Well, lots of students of sharaji are dealing now in my store, being there and so sad that he's not there, but also being very grateful for the teachings and the community and being there. And I think it's a lesson we can take any any situation every day in our life, right with family and with ourselves and with everything. I agree. Bianca, well, I'm very as what I said, but no, it makes perfect sense. And I'm really, I'm really grateful and appreciative of you making time out of your day for us. And I look forward to, well, if I could just dream big, it'd be amazing to fly to Ubud and the Dolomites sometime soon. I don't know if I'm going to be able to pull it off, but that sounds absolutely incredible. Bianca, and I hope to meet you in person one day in the future, and I wish you and your family well, and thank you so. Much, and I look forward to in future, having another conversation with you. Thank you so much, Todd, and we wish you also the best to you and your family. Enjoy your breakfast with your daughter while you can thank you, Bianca, thank you practicing. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you, bye, bye. The native yoga Todd cast is produced by myself. The theme music is dreamed up by Bryce Allen. If you like this show, let me know if there's room for improvement. I want to hear that too. We are curious to know what you think and what you want more of what I can improve. And if you have ideas for future guests or topics, please send us your thoughts to info at Native yoga center. You can find us at Native yoga center.com, and hey, if you did like this episode, share it with your friends. Rate it and review and join us next time. Well, yeah.