Wendy Posillico - The Power of Mindset and Embracing Your Uniqueness

Wendy Posillico is a Performance Mindset Coach and former professional golfer. She is the founder of Live Your June and the host of the Journey to June podcast. Wendy is passionate about helping individuals discover their true potential and live a life aligned with their values and passions.

Visit Wendy on her website: https://www.liveyourjune.com/
Sign up for her retreat here: https://www.liveyourjune.com/a/2147671707/TxoWMWyt
Follow her on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/liveyourjune/
Listen to her podcast here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/journey-to-june/id1665777594

• Wendy emphasizes the importance of connecting with oneself and understanding one's values and personal philosophy.
• She believes that everyone has a unique gift to bring to the world and it is their responsibility to live into that potential.
• Wendy encourages individuals to explore their own journey and embrace the challenges and opportunities that come their way.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction
• 3:33 Wendy discusses her background as a professional golfer.
• 8:47 The meditative and zen-like aspects of golf.
• 16:37 Importance of connecting with oneself and being present
• 26:22 Embracing uniqueness for future generations
• 35:53 Balancing pushing your child and listening to their needs
• 47:38 Wendy reflects on the balance between pushing and allowing in life.
• 56:30 Finding joy in clients who are committed to personal growth.

Transcript

Todd McLaughlin: 0:33

Welcome to Native Yoga Toddcast. So happy you are here. My goal with this channel is to bring inspirational speakers to the mic in the field of yoga, massage bodywork and beyond. Follow us @nativeyoga and check us out at nativeyogacenter.com All right, let's begin. Welcome to Native Yoga Toddcast. Today I have a special guest, Wendy Posillico. Check her out on her website, www.liveyourjune.com and also find her on her podcast Journey to June. The links are below super easy to find. Wendy is a student here at our yoga Shala. And she's a Performance Mindset Coach. She is it really full of life and has lots of energy. She is an athlete, and she shares the world of her athleticism and how she blends it into her personal coaching with people. And she has a lot to say and a lot of great insight. I enjoyed this conversation immensely. And I can't wait to hear feedback from you as to what you think. She also has a workshop coming up as a retreat. A four day retreat here in Jupiter, Florida. And her website is https://www.liveyourjune.com/soulstigator-retreat. So I'm gonna have that link here as well. If you would like to check it out, we'd love for you to come visit us here in Juno Beach, Florida. All right, well, let's go ahead and get started. Here we go. Wendy Posillico. I'm delighted to have the opportunity to have Wendy Posillico here with me today on the podcast. Wendy, thank you so much for joining me. How was your day been so far?

Wendy Posillico: 2:29

Oh, Todd. Well, I started with you. So that was perfect.

Todd McLaughlin: 2:33

Well, thank you. I know I got to see you for the morning. I got to see you for my sore Stanga class this morning. Yeah, and

Wendy Posillico: 2:40

it's I kind of I so needed it. Because it's been a I was away in Utah, doing my own retreat for conscious leadership to reboot my own self. But so to come back after being away from your studio, that I love to go in the mornings, at 8am. So it was nice, I need it. My body was like, ready to go back?

Todd McLaughlin: 3:02

Well, yeah, it's so great to have you back. Thank you so much. And I do want to ask you quite a few questions about what your recent experience was like out in Utah. But before we go there, you have a website called Live Your june.com? Can you and you are a performance mindset coach, you also are a professional golfer? Or do we need to save former professional golfer? Where does what how does that work? If you were a professional golfer, are you always a professional golfer, or,

Wendy Posillico: 3:34

you know, it's a funny thing, because I still am associated with the LPGA, which is the ladies Professional Golf Association. I'm a teacher through there. But my studies in LPGA was through coaching. So I was not into being this instructor on the range. Although I did it for 10 years. I was a My passion is to be a coach and observe and there's so many dynamics more than just the swing that make that help a performance. So I'm still a LPGA and qualified or a Class A, but I do it in a different way. And that really honored that because I went a different route than the typical instructor. So I still say former but I'm somehow intertwined in golf, always I do some work in the charity world as well with Betsy King. It's called The Art Foundation called golfer Africa. So we do work over in Zambia for clean water. So somehow my foot still stays in the I mean, I even think of you like massage yoga. We're all we've all got different hats. And then how does it all combined? And who are we? I don't know. There's a lot a lot to say. Well, who are you? Yeah, good question. That's what we that is. That is the question that I love to help people stir because I don't think that conversation is Is had in our society. It's more like what do you do? And we are more than what we do. And I'm passionate about exploring who I am constantly on raveling the things that align with me and things that don't, or maybe it shifted. But that is, I think, really where I like to put my passion into helping people have language and clarity around who they are at their best and when they come alive.

Todd McLaughlin: 5:32

Nice. Yeah. Do you still actually enter into golf tournaments?

Wendy Posillico: 5:39

No, I do not. So I finish. My story is a little crazy. Do you want to go down?

Todd McLaughlin: 5:45

I do. I want to hear.

Wendy Posillico: 5:47

I was a athlete all my life. And I played everything but golf. So I played lacrosse in College Division One, I was captain and University of Vermont for two years, we were eighth in the nation. And when sports ended, I was kind of this in my 20s, a lost soul. Did everything great on paper, had my masters taught in Harlem emotionally disturbed kids, but sports was like missing in me. And then on a spring break, my dad had asked me, he was down in Florida, and he said, let's play golf. And they were big golfers, my parents. I'm one of six. And here I was like, Sure I'll play golf, I can play, I can hit a white ball standing still like. So I remember I don't I don't know if I even had clubs, like a bar and my mom's gloves. And there we were on the range and two guys, one on the range and one on the course we're like, do she's pretty good. And I was about 28 teaching in Harlem. And I think it stirred my dad's brain to go. You want to give this a try? And I don't think he I think he wanted me out of Harlem. Really? In reality, he never said that. But I took it to heart. I was like, Are you serious? Like, this is my second chance to see what's still on me because I always had this, like, I left so much talent on the table as an athlete. And I didn't have the coach that saw that talent in me. I kind of like had coaches that. You know, it's like we did good. But did they really push me? And I don't know, I went down this road. And I played for seven years, I lived in Arizona, I worked with some of the top instructors by chance, like I knew one person in this arena of playing at the high level of golf, and somehow my journey in the golf world, not only I met cool people that allowed me to see what I was capable of. But also like, I learned, literally, so much about myself that I never learned prior to my 30s Nice. Yeah, so the golf, golf, I didn't make it on tour. I went through three qualifying schools, but it taught me so much about you know, my own being and how I operate and, and taught me grit and taught me, you know, sacrifice because it's you know, it's a lonely road when you're going after something that your guts telling you do. Well, everybody's doing getting married, having kids doing like what the norm is, and I was doing total opposite. Yeah. So the golf industry, the golf world has, like, I'm blessed to have had the experience both as an instructor and player. Because I've met some really incredible athletes and humans and on the journey.

Todd McLaughlin: 8:47

That's cool. Golf is so challenging. I've never played in, there's so many courses around here. And people often say, how could you live in Palm Beach County and not be a golfer? So I thought, well, let me you know, take that took it to heart. And so I took my son and we went to this little public course down by the Jupiter inlet. And I was so humbled because I did not do well at all. So what an amazing sport. I know so many people that play say it has this like zen like meditative element. Did you ever connect with that side of the golf when you're playing? Or what was your experience in relation to when I hear this idea about like, the amount of stillness that's required concentration focus that often seems like some of the qualities that also are inherent in yoga? Did you have some sort of Zen in the art of golf experience at any point?

Wendy Posillico: 9:41

Yeah. So it's funny. When you take up a sport or you're like, I gotta catch up, I'm taking up late in the game. Most of the kids that I were playing with were just in college at a college. And so here I was learning. Sounds like I was totally cold. I swung Golf Club but I didn't know what I was doing. And there was such this intent to master the swing. You know, and I was working with Butch Harmon, like all technical, the best in the world, the best in the industry. By fluke I got luckily to be around them. But really, it's really about mastering yourself of how you operate. So when I there was a point through my seven years of playing I met another cool instructors there. They worked with Annika Soren Steen Lin Marissa and pia Nelson, they have a company called Vision 54. So their belief is you can shoot one less than par every hole of 18 holes. And that's possible. That's a possibility. No one's done it. But that's possibility. But their way of teaching was more zen like in finding what makes you peaceful, knowing how you operate. We did a thing called Heart Math. And we talked about that recently, you and I. And I didn't get it because I did yoga. I was doing I thought I was being. And HeartMath really at the time was new, but it was teaching you how to get in the zone, how to get out of your head and just be and allow the performance to come through you. And you know, it was interesting. There were a lot of Asian players that worked with these girls and how quickly they could get in this this meditative state. And how I really struggled, I would be in this red zone and I thought I was being and it only learned it through actually and we were doing some just going into our practice this morning. But like after practice, Todd is bringing in his instruments to bring music out. We had like a little van. I don't know what

Todd McLaughlin: 12:02

do you call the piano? harmonium, harmonium?

Wendy Posillico: 12:05

Yeah. So anyway, I was saying how vibrational music and sound can really get us in a state. And I actually had a friend who did a lot of chanting, who was outside of golf. And I got to kind of under like, feel what that felt like to be in the zone and using HeartMath. To feel with that how I could kind of get that feeling to be in the zone to make that putt when it mattered to to be over the ball when I'm trying to get on the green to make a birdie. And how I had to let go of the outcome and only control what's in the moment. Yeah, yeah. So I don't know if that makes sense. But to me that, when I see really, you can see who's in the zone, especially in golf, it shows your true colors. Yeah, it shows how you handle moments that don't go the way we think how you how you if something, you maybe hit a bad shot, and how your thought process and how you handle those moments, does it? Do you accumulate the pressure? Go on to the next shot? Can you let go have that outcome that happened and move forward with just being in the present? Or are you thinking about the past or the future of making a cut or something? It's like, yeah, you can see who's in the in the moment and just going through it from a zen like state. That's cool.

Todd McLaughlin: 13:37

You know, I watch golf. Occasionally, my sister loves it. So whenever I'm over there, she always has it on. I'm but it's interesting, I next time I watch it, I want to I'm gonna see if I can see what it is you're talking about. So you feel like if you watched a tournament and you're on TV, you're watching TV and you're watching a tournament, you can get a pretty good idea of the mind state of the person playing just by watching the way they're carrying themselves and walking and picking up the ball and waving at the crowd and how they're playing you feel like you can beyond just the score, you feel like you can get a sense of how calm and relaxed and or focus they are.

Wendy Posillico: 14:16

Um, yes, I can actually go back to my own state, which I was not in there. But I can see on TV or I can see when I'm with someone else who is even an amateur and how they handle moments but like the pro like you can you can I mean think of any sport. How Yeah, some people can use it to their power of of having external expression of a moment. I remember vividly, I mean, I didn't watch golf before, maybe even two years into

Todd McLaughlin: 14:53

that you just kind of fell into it. It doesn't sound like a long passion play. You just went All right, I guess I'll try that. And but there

Wendy Posillico: 15:02

was one time Tiger made a putt. I think it was the PGA national championship. And maybe it was a par 3/17 hole again, people laugh at me because I don't know exactly everything. But I remember vividly watching I mean, it was a, it was a huge double breaker. It was had to be like a 4050 foot. But and here this guy. I mean, you see it going the crowds going wild and it trickles in. And he's like, any, you could have expression positive or negative, right? Yeah, but he's pumping and lit. And then you watch I literally am getting chills right now. And you watch this guy, just get back to center. And I don't think every This is a practice. Yeah. Because one, it's a practice of who you are and how you operate. And what allows you to get like, in that moment, and then back, like watch. Jovovich, like incredible. You can see the people allowed the people lose their presence, and the spiral of reacting about the things that they have no control over. And the thing you learn is like, and I do even just, our daily routine is like, what do we have control over? And what do we don't? And that allows us to center in the presence. I don't know, I just knowing what I know now at 52 and be like, Oh, can I just go back? Do you know? It's just amazing.

Todd McLaughlin: 16:37

Oh, I know, if you could if you could blend the wisdom of age back into the sport that you're involved in at that young age where there's that immaturity and lack of self reflection and observation. I hear Yeah. Well, maybe maybe we will get a chance to do that. Maybe that's, you know, we're on this. We're in this life now. And maybe the next life gives us a chance to win, that'd be great. Yeah, that's cool. So can you tell me I mean, this sounds relatively obvious at what it could mean, but maybe you can help me define this better. So one of the titles that you'd like to use that explains what you do is a performance mindset. Coach. i That sounds self explanatory. You you help coach people with their performance mindset. Can you give? Can you add a little bit to that, though, can you explain a little more about what it is, and maybe some of the approaches that you take in different settings?

Wendy Posillico: 17:35

Yeah. And my belief in order to perform and have a mindset that allows us to experience what's possible, beyond what we imagined. It starts with your ethos, it starts with who you are, it starts with getting clear with the things that make you come alive. Your character, your values, your personal philosophy, if you can, when I work with clients, when I work with groups, that is the first thing because only I don't have anybody's answers. To have the best mindset. Like we were anybody coaches, it's not like a bad thing. It's like, yeah, you can go through science, of what but also you have to connect to who you are, you have to connect to what's speaking to you. And this goes back to also the presence, like you have to have a real good relationship or a study of who you are. So then how then we can start working on the science of mindset, and how that aligns with you, if that makes sense, does self talk, my self talk might be different than your self talk. So we can have this like this is self talk. But I have to know what's happening in my own being my own thoughts process that isn't aligned with who I want to be. So we can make a list but until you're in tune with that, and start to like, have a relationship with those, those things. Like when I wake up and go to your yoga, I'm like I am this feeds my soul. And and even when I don't have it, I'm like, oh, I need more of it. And I today, I'm like my body, my mind my soul is yearning for that. I was not like that. When I was in my 30s or 20s or even before that. I didn't. I was just going doing what I thought I could do. And maybe I was a little bit like that, but I wasn't intentional and reflecting on how to weed out the things And don't serve me and the things that serve me. Yeah. So that's really what I do with my clients is that ethos is everything. And then it stems from not only. It's not only your thoughts and mindset of gaining confidence and resilience and all that stuff. It's also your physicality. We work on physicality or voice. I mean, if you saw me in my 20s, in grade school, I was like, the shy, little closed. And here I was super athlete, but I so was like, not expressing who I was. Yeah. And. And then the other thing is connection. We are there is your invisible, invisible web, I call it we are connected in so many ways. And just because I don't connect with someone doesn't mean they're not good people. Yes. And I'm really a believer in this. And I think there's so it's not black and white. But our connections, how we interact with others affect people. Yeah, and I'm watching it with my daughter in school. And so all of these stem from your ethos. So your ethos is everything. And then it's physicality. This is like our framework, but physicality, Moxie, or you could call it grit, your connection, and then it comes down to what we just talked about presence of being, like really getting that inner wisdom. When we can connect, when we start to like understand, start to study oneself.

Todd McLaughlin: 21:26

Very cool. I know that you're offering a retreat here in the Jupiter, Florida area in November. And I'm curious, what is some of the ideas that you'll implement in relation to say, if I were to participate? And what what kind of activities are you going to take me through to try to help me realize some of the ideas that you just conveyed?

Wendy Posillico: 21:57

Yeah, I mean, I think part of it is, it's hard. If you work with me just on Zoom one hour, because then we're back into our world. So my passion, it's our first retreat, but like, I've worked with a ton of groups, and it's really shutting off the world. So you can listen, so you can start to get so the whole retreat is all about, really starting to connect with yourself first. And that's how come how we can be more fulfilled as a human, but also like how we can be better leaders. As a business owner, maybe you have a team, maybe you have a family, maybe you have a partner, maybe you have children, and you're creating the relationship is a little struggling, the first thing we have to do is look in, it's easy to look out. That's easy. But when we can take four days, and connect to nature, and kind of ask questions, we start to get the answers that serve us. And like you as whoever's listening us individually, I do not have people's answers. I just hold the space to stir what's inside of you that's calling for you. Nice. And yeah. And that's what that retreat will be, we're going to use nature, the beautiful environment that's around Jupiter. But on top of it, doing exploration connecting to others, like minded community, like we need a safe community to, to be vulnerable, and connect to the things that like, it's hard to say, I want, I want to feel more fulfilled. So instead, people keep it down. And then, you know, we act like everything's fine. But inside we feel either stuck or overwhelmed. And it's all normal, like you're doing, I feel like everybody wants to do good. Like, let's just shut off the world and like, reconnect. And that's what that retreats are about. And I'm like, so excited about oh, that's

Todd McLaughlin: 23:58

really cool. I was so happy to hear that you're gonna be doing it right here in Jupiter. Because Gemini are always thinking where can we lead a retreat? You know, we'll think like, Let's go somewhere far, far away to some exotic location. And we just recently were like, We should do a retreat right here because it's so beautiful. So I'm so excited that you're going to be that you took that idea and you're making it happen in November that's so cool. And the link for that is in the notes below. So everyone if you're interested, you can check it out. Can you tell me a little bit as well? You have a podcast yourself called Live Your June and actually called Journey to June journey to June. I'm so sorry. Your website is what is your website?

Wendy Posillico: 24:37

I know it's confusing. You want me to explain what it's all like

Todd McLaughlin: 24:42

I need I need all the possible Yeah, I know the pieces of the puzzle of fit right now for me. So you're telling me first

Wendy Posillico: 24:49

why Joe my company's called Live Your gym. And my podcast is called Journey to June. Cool and our belief is we All are here and we all are unique, we're born a certain way. We have a uniqueness we have a gift to, to bring to the world. And I believe it's our responsibility to live into that. But I also believe there are imprints that are been put on me or everybody. Whether it's like this computer Who the heck made this computer for me to be able to have this podcast with you, the zoom. And I think there's but in a bigger scale, like people that really have made their mark on me, my father who passed 20 years ago, his name was Joe Jr. He was a pain in the butt in a lot of ways, but he pushed me to challenge myself. Yeah. So his name was Joe Jr. I take so much of what he taught me into who I am and push and believe he's like, right here guiding me. And then now I have my daughter, who I had on my own at 40. Her name is Josie June after my father. So how our imprints affect future generations of generations matter. So embracing your uniqueness allows for you to make the boldest, unique imprint for future generations so we can shift this world in a way that matters. And that's, that's what live your dreams about.

Todd McLaughlin: 26:22

Yeah, cool.

Wendy Posillico: 26:24

Yeah, so we in the podcast, we interview people that walk the heart harder path that may be chosen or not have really gone not the traditional way, and lived towards the thing that was speaking to them, even though it was hard or even though it was people thought they were nuts. And I interview people like Betsy King Hall of Famer 3232 wins on the LPGA. She now does his charity. I interviewed you like all your travels, and I still want you on my podcast. Because there's so much there. Our journeys are there to teach us. And I don't know if we do enough exploring how far we've come. Yeah, like it. There's something there that sometimes like, oh, we just did that know that you did a lot. And if you acknowledge that it's like you have more power in you to walk towards a bigger vision of what's possible. Yes. So that's where we interview we interview all walks. I mean, Josie was just on my daughter was on the on the podcast yesterday. Oh,

Todd McLaughlin: 27:31

I can't wait to hear that.

Wendy Posillico: 27:32

I can't wait interviewed me. Oh, nice how I saw Middle School. That's a great way to know what I thought so we wish

Todd McLaughlin: 27:41

she your daughter interviewed you asking you questions about what your what you see her school as know, she

Wendy Posillico: 27:49

interviewed me to say what was my experience in middle school? Oh,

Todd McLaughlin: 27:54

in middle school. Oh, what a great idea. Well, what was your experience? We had a conversation about

Wendy Posillico: 27:59

what? But like, she came up with the questions. We were on driving to do the podcast and we had a whole nother idea. So she's like, I want to interview

Todd McLaughlin: 28:09

that's so fun. You gave me a great idea. I gotta pull my kids in. Yeah, that'd be really revealing actually, to have your own child interview you. Right? What a What an interesting idea. Where did you come up with that idea? That was your own idea. Did you see someone else did that?

Wendy Posillico: 28:24

Now that was jersey. We were kind of she's been on my podcast before. But I interviewed her Yeah, about a topic. Like this. She's like, I want to literally she like got out of the podcast. She's like, that was fun mom, that was so to see her come up with the questions. She She led it. And then really found and the other thing I like I asked her like, what could I improve as a mom and because I'm also coaching her volleyball. And she authentically like expressed like, hey, you know, you could do this a little better. You're a little aggressive when you clap. i i compassionate care people you scare.

Todd McLaughlin: 29:04

That's so cool.

Wendy Posillico: 29:05

That's really what is important for us to have open conversation to understand and have other people heard.

Todd McLaughlin: 29:11

Oh, man, I know. Love it. I love it, too. That's cool. And I'm going to have the link to your podcast show in the notes. So anyone that wants to go listen to that episode, What number is that one? But Josie I want to I want to listen to that.

Wendy Posillico: 29:23

Oh, it's actually coming out next Tuesday. All right. Cool. You'll hear it. So it should be like pie episode 33

Todd McLaughlin: 29:32

Cool. Yeah. Very good. Let's

Wendy Posillico: 29:35

put on yours like so people can hear your conversation?

Todd McLaughlin: 29:38

I will. I'll have that there too. I know I really enjoyed the fact thank you so much for taking the time to bring me on that was so fun. That's why I want to reciprocate the generosity and and get to learn more about you because often we just see each other in the quick setting of a class. It's like you unroll your mat and we have a few seconds to talk here there. So I'm happy to get to learn more about you here. I'm curious in In relation to what you were saying about, like, making the imprint in terms of the generational aspect, and what are some realizations that you've had lately, in the realm of where you are fitting in that whole generational role, like because you're sandwiched in between your parents and your daughter. And at some point, obviously, we'll take that grandparent role may be for lucky enough. And then, you know, we're going to be something that kind of shifts. What have you noticed from being daughter to mom and having a daughter? What? What sort of realizations Do you have?

Wendy Posillico: 30:42

One, it's not easy.

Todd McLaughlin: 30:45

Well, yeah.

Wendy Posillico: 30:47

You know, I think I come from I'm one of six, my my I have 18 nieces and nephews, while I was a late bloomer, like I said, I had my daughter on my own, I didn't find my partner at the time, and I just wasn't willing to not have a child. So I went down that IVF road and at age 41, I had Josie and I really believe I manifested because my doctor definitely was not. He was wanting me to use an egg donor. And I was like, no, like, I haven't even tried yet. So I am blessed. I look at parenting, in a, my mom was, so you want to come on, get married, you got to have kids. And now I have such a appreciation. And I don't even I only have one. And I just have appreciation for being a parent and putting the time in to how you nurture these souls. And I also, I also believe, like, they're here to teach me, you know, what the biggest thing is, I learn more probably from her than she learned from me. Because she sees it with such fresh eyes life. She's really I don't know, I just I think we have a lot to learn from young people

Todd McLaughlin: 32:17

understood.

Wendy Posillico: 32:18

I agree. And I think that if we're open and hear and be curious, to ask questions. The kids that sometimes might be hard to reach, or show a rougher side to them. If you come to them with more curiosity, with let's say, expectations, but boundaries that they can't walk all over you. They really want to be heard. And I've seen this through volleyball I've seen like, I've seen this in jerseys, friends, like, they just want a voice. And I think and that's what's coming up for me, not only a parent, but like as my leadership of linear June. It's like, it's big. It's a bigger responsibility, not only to make your imprint, but like your inner work matters for these children. Yeah. Our world. Yes, they are next leaders. And how we show up, we have to have a different relationship of just like, oh, I want to be happy. It's like no, like, we've got to do this work, go to yoga, do the journaling. Find time for yourself to center who you are, so you can whether you have children or not like so you can just impact the people around you in a positive way. And I think that's what I'm seeing is like it's a bigger than it's making your imprint but like having we have a responsibility. Yes, your people did sacrifice for us to be here. My father, whatever way back if you really look at the imprints that have made in our history, from everything I even said Josie like who made this pencil like if we really look at all these things that have allowed us to have the privileges that we have you have a different responsibility of how you show up on a daily basis for yourself and for others.

Todd McLaughlin: 34:23

Good point. Good point. What is we mentioned like your first response when I asked you a question about parenting he said well it's challenging work part of parenting comes really easy and natural for you.

Wendy Posillico: 34:39

So natural would be not doing the norm

Todd McLaughlin: 34:47

the natural is to not do the norm like you mean like say

Wendy Posillico: 34:50

like he's curious like yeah, don't follow you know, I struggle. It's I can see how everybody just fits in. And maybe it's my experience of my own in school that I struggled with finding my own confidence, because we're taught to fit in. And I think it sounds like I'm saying it's easy, which is not the norm. Going against the norm is not easy. But being exploring what's good for my daughter, what's speaking to my daughter, not what I think she wants, or what everybody else is doing. And I'm, I think that's what I'm talking about. Like, is it revelation? No, but it's like, really listening to what? And and pushing her a little bit. There's like a balance. Yeah, yeah. I'm not all like, oh, ever anything you want? How do I put, you know, push her to challenge to see what's possible. But also listen to her. Of what speaking to her.

Todd McLaughlin: 35:53

Do you feel like your clap your loud clap that bothers her. It comes from your dad, because you said your dad, like you made a statement like my dad was hard. But I also really was amazing. And you push me? Do you feel like do you have? Do you ever see yourself doing things that you that is your dad, that you that you're like you that you struggle with? Sometimes I'm like, oh, gosh, I really am like him? Do I want to be like him? Maybe I should embrace the fact that I'm like him. Because sometimes I feel like there's this like 5050 element with our parents where we might be like, I really want I want to be like them. They're an incredible role model. They are. And were an incredible role model. And then there's certain elements that I'm like, Oh, don't let me turn out like that. Like, if you like, I'll say the term I'll make if I started doing what they did over here. Don't let me do that. You know, Do do you have that same sort of feeling?

Wendy Posillico: 36:45

Yeah, I think it's again, it goes back to really listening to the things and this goes back to the imprint, like, Yeah, my dad was hard. But there was so many. He was generous. He worked his tail off he had he like, he held everybody up. Well, he forgot to hold them up themselves. Dying at 63 with marintec. Yeah, he you know, so there's so many blessings, but then there's things like I wish he communicated more. I wish he he it because his own journey didn't do his own inner work. He loved us, but didn't show it as much as I wished. Yeah. But I knew he loved me. Yeah. And I did a lot of inner work to reconnect to him right before he died. And I will say this to your listeners like that I could cry right now. Like,

Todd McLaughlin: 37:41

it's alright. You can I know. I whilst and I started feeling emotional.

Wendy Posillico: 37:45

No, but like, when I was playing golf, I like I said, I did a lot of sacrificing. So I was away from my whole entire family. And they're like, you know, he had a life that he created, and I would miss like family trips or things. And he would just want me home, which is great. But then my, my inner soul was like, go after this dream. I something's pulling me towards this. But we so when we would go away on vacation, we had just like probably once a year, pretty hard fights. You know, he probably thought something I thought something and like, so one trip, we were in Whistler skiing with a family and I laughed, and we had, I don't know why, like, we had a fight. And I was really working on reading and exploring at night thing. I was 32 at the time, and I thought I was being and I was like, we had this fight. I left I go back to Arizona. He's going back to New York, and we didn't talk and that's not like me for like, a month. And I was it took me 10 letters to write a non. I didn't project like, You did this to me. I just was like, I'm doing my best. I know you're doing your best. And we need to learn from this. We can hold grudges. And I wrote it for Valentine's Day. And I wrote a quote around this. And he picked up the phone. He said, all he could say was thanks. I mean, I told him he's the best dad, whatever he just said, thanks. No, I love you. Nothing. Yeah, I did a landmark forum. So that was February. I did landmark forum in September, if anybody listening it's it's a cool program. But I really learned to what what my responsibility is in the story and what's his. And what's my story behind it like what meaning Am I making by him, me going home and him not talking to me or whatever. Not taking in the sight of how busy he is. And I own my story and call them up and said hey, and he's not an easy person. He wasn't an easy person to talk to. And I called them and said, hey, you know, crying like I want to do better. I want us to be a better relationship. And I'm sorry for putting these this like assumption that you don't care because I know you You Yeah, he was like, Don't cry, don't cry, like, I love you. That was three months before he died. And I said everything I could say to him, and that's why I share the story. Like, we don't know what's happening tomorrow. And if, if there's a way you can reach out to someone that maybe inside saying to own something you've done or, or just reach out and say, I love you, like, do it, like, life's too short. And I just was one of the lucky ones that are my family that happened to have this like, intimate breakthrough with my dad, but I can't imagine I do.

Todd McLaughlin: 40:35

When you converse with your siblings post his passing, it became evident to you that that was that's what happened, that you were able to have that sort of conversation and that they, they felt like they wish they were able to have done that.

Wendy Posillico: 40:48

I don't think they expressed that. But I know that you were saying I love you. And I he was saying like just intimate conversations that we didn't have prior. And when he died a month later in his, you know, those leather briefcases that that's used to carry?

Todd McLaughlin: 41:09

Yes, a lot. Yes.

Wendy Posillico: 41:11

In the life was the letter I wrote him Oh, man. So he cared, some people just don't, like, you don't know how. And sometimes we have to be the bigger one. And, and, and try to open up and, and I this is why I do this work. Because I feel like people have this yearning to do things and they wait, and they expect different things. And listen, I'm not perfect, but I, I try to own if I do something, like not great with Josie like, Hey, I'm human, we're human. And if we came across that way, we might be able to open up relationships that maybe just needed a little more love.

Todd McLaughlin: 41:56

Great point. I mean, we're in this position where we have our family, our extended family. And then we have our either colleagues, co workers, students that we maybe we go to school with, you know, we have these people around us that aren't our family. And there is it feels kind of divisive right now, but but not always, I feel a lot of harmony and unity with a lot of the people I get a chance to see every day and talk with every day. So I don't want to just like zero in on the divisiveness, because that's just like, there's also a lot of harmony and unity. But I do think that I could get better at healing and helping relationships that maybe went a little awry. And I liked that suggestion that you had about you sounds like you said it took like 11 or 12 or 13 letters before you were able to convey your emotion and feeling to your dad that that wasn't where you were projecting anger. That's a real skill, don't you think? Isn't that sometimes hard to do? Like when we tried to make amends in a situation? And what is some of the strategy? Can you explain some of that strategy behind? How we can speak where we don't blame? And we actually listen at the same time that we're expressing our emotions and feelings.

Wendy Posillico: 43:16

Yeah, I mean, number one, like, or feel the feeling like I don't think it's like, you have feelings, if they're coming up, like you're sad or frustrated, but more right journal, those feelings? And then how else could you see it? Like, I think asking good questions around. What else could this mean? It gives us a different angle to look at. Because we really don't know what someone else is experiencing. I says Josie all the time, like, you know, look at the old look at the other side of things and see. And I also think I do this. It's a practice. But I call a mentor of mine once said cup like compassion, understanding and patience. And sometimes people there's just certain people that need a little of that. And, you know, if we can come from that place, it opens up a door without having to be so right and wrong. Black and white. It's not life isn't like that. Yes, we're all you know, trying to experience life and the best we can and some have more tools or or and maybe you are the one that has to open the door. You know, and see it in a different

Todd McLaughlin: 44:51

Good point. You know, it's interesting, because when you when I saw you this morning, you said that you just returned from the Utah area that you had an opportunity to go to the Sundance Film Festival, but also partake in a workshop. Can you explain a little bit what the title of the workshop was and who facilitated it?

Wendy Posillico: 45:13

Yeah, it's a dear friend of mine, Jennifer Mulholland, and our partner, Jeff, they have a company called plenty. They do corporate conscious, conscious corporate leadership. So I really just wanted to take, I love her and what she shares in the world. And I've done a retreat with her before. So this is like the second level. So anybody returning already knows their language and how they operate. But they really, again, similar to what I'm doing at my injury, they use nature and space to allow what's coming up. And they're their way of doing Yes, they have an agenda, but it's a allowing the moment to take form, instead of a push of this is how it is. Yeah. And what came up for me personally, in the leadership retreat was, it's always about exploring myself. And we had we came up with a word or whatever was speaking to us and beginning of it and one was for me was like a meditation we were doing, and it came up as light. And at first it came up, and I don't know why it came up as like light, like I'm a light. And when I shine my light, I can see other people's light. And through unraveling the nature, we were in Sundance, this beautiful area that Robert Redford had, has savored in the mountains. And in the end, it's like, I need to be liked. I need to find grace and less push. All my life, I've been the athlete push, create this business, find my my own footing in the world. And like, I don't have to always push, I can come later in the world, and still do good work. And so that is my practice right now. I'm feel like I got out of that retreat is just when I want to push or be right or whatever, come from a more gracious, softer way of coming through to people or myself.

Todd McLaughlin: 47:38

Yeah, I can see exactly what you're saying. That seems like a continuous challenge, doesn't it? Like? Because it seems like if I just work harder, and I just push harder, I will be better, I will achieve more being happiness and success. And it's not that simple. And so to just exist and be and not worry, that if I just be? How's anything going to get done? How will anything manifest? How will I have enough to be able to keep everything going? So it's like this, I feel this, I can attest to exactly what you're saying this like, constantly searching that balance of just existing and being and then but at the same time. I mean, I think the effort part actually is fun. Like I do enjoy working, I really do enjoy trying harder, like you know what I mean? I I do enjoy when I'm my gosh, how am I going to make this work this month, oh man, maybe I need to get creative and come up with a new, I gotta come up with a new class, or I gotta come up with a new idea. Because one thing I find that like, something will work for just long enough. But then the world is changing and shifting so quickly that I can't just rely on just coming up with one good idea and is working off that idea forever. So it's like, seems like it requires constant push it requires but I love that you're bringing attention to the fact of like, what if I just to shine a light, like just actually be not push? And if somehow that could take over? Does that sound kind of similar to what Yeah, and

Wendy Posillico: 49:20

so, so reckon resonate with everything you're saying? We're taught to push, we're taught to work, you know, like our whole society. It's like, you know, be successful push, like, what are you going to be next and it's a dance. It really is a dance to have a new relationship with what push means to you. Like, I think that's what you said. It's like I actually enjoy working hard and finding creative ways to like find a new way of looking at it and creating new content or whatever you're doing. But there's a dance because if we do only the push, because as an athlete, I have, I have to challenge myself to see to create the push past the barrier of what I think is possible. But then there's the dance of like, it's not always the push because the universe, like look at a child, like how they learn to walk, I mean, yeah, watch a child. There, they walk towards what they're meant to do. My daughter, I want to be an athlete, she, she is an athlete, but she her passion singing, if I, there's no, there's a dance, there's like knowing when to like a little bit like, Okay, it's time to push. And then it's like knowing when to pull back and like feed the soul. And I think it's not one way or the other. It's like, there's a, there's a flow in in all of it. And it's, again, goes back to like, what is how do you flow in the dance of the push, and the being? And, you know, I don't know, if I'm making sense you

Todd McLaughlin: 51:00

are, you're making perfect, you're making perfect sense. And then I'm curious, because you did mention that you can watch someone play golf, and have some type of idea or understanding of like, where their ability to focus, and then pump their arms and be excited, but also come right back into the zone. And so you've had an opportunity to physically come into our studio here, and you've been able to watch me teach, can you share a little insight on where am I? Where am I pushing too hard? And is there a place where I could soften a little bit and just be more myself like, and I don't expect you to, like have some really deep, profound insight, but I am curious, because if you have that sort of observational skills, and you can be really honest with me, like I promise I won't be offended. If you've if you've observed something, were you

Wendy Posillico: 51:59

funny. What I observed is, you know, not that I fought yoga, Oh, I love yoga, but like I was the athlete. So it was always in the gym. I was always in the gym, and I've had some injuries. And yoga speaks to me right now. And I never it's like going to a good massage person. Going to a good coach. It's it's like you to me when I come into your, your space is your so I actually love your approach I love you have your eyes on everybody in the Mysore because that's mostly what I do in the morning at your studio, but you're gentle and you're open to so many different levels of yoga. I mean, even this morning, you had a new person who had back injury like you were you were nurturing her where she was at. And I think in in life and yoga, in coaching, life coaching, it's like, there's no one in golf. There's no one perfect swing, there's no one perfect yoga move. It's like where are you? And how can we nurture you where you're at? And I think you you are a master at meeting people where they're at. And your energy is so approachable, yet you have fun in the class like there you have a great dance in there. I mean there's there's a reason why people show up well, thank

Todd McLaughlin: 53:41

you so much. I guess I guess I guess I was looking for like, I want to I want you to pick I want you to pick the critique critique. I want honest feedback and then maybe there isn't and maybe but if down the road there is I do want I would like I do appreciate.

Wendy Posillico: 54:01

I would love to give you more critique. I have been thinking about it because I think you're the first yoga instructor or Yogi that I don't feel the push from the first yoga studio where I feel so welcome at the level I'm at where I don't have to. Sometimes I come like today I was taking my time. And then the next day I want to learn and you again, I really think you and your team. I haven't met you I met your wife once but have nurture people in that space. And I think you bring in myself different you get bring in different avenues. God it's such a I don't I don't really have a critique.

Todd McLaughlin: 54:56

Thank you. Thank you. It's funny because as you were saying that was kind of like well, what could vote what would I have done recently that she would have been pissed about? And I feel like it's been pretty the vibes have been so amazing in the room. I love nurturing people. Like I absolutely love it. It's so fun to like, find out where people are at and start to like, investigate what, what can you do? Where's your How are your wrist? Okay, that hurts. Let's figure out how we can do it where you doesn't hurt a lot, but it hurts a little. But you're right. There's so many different elements going on. Like sometimes. I think too, when people are brand new, like, just let them do their thing. And don't be up in their face the whole time. You know what I mean? Like, because if you're like, it's your first time coming in, I'm just like, come on, when to do this, do this, do this, do this, do this. Come on, stop, you got to do this. Not that you're gonna be like, Whoa, you got to like back off, dude. But I think, yeah, it's so amazing. So thank you for bringing all that stuff up. And I appreciate the really Kyon calm.

Wendy Posillico: 55:55

When I say one thing. To me, it's a parallel of what I do. It's like you're investigating where they are physically, to hold space to create a practice that fits them. And I'm doing the same, like in a different way, and investigating helping them nurture what's already speaking to them. And yes, I'm teaching but it's, again, it's a dance, and

Todd McLaughlin: 56:24

how much do you how much joy does it bring you? How much joy does it bring you?

Wendy Posillico: 56:30

You know, the biggest challenge to me and the stuff I do is number one, if you haven't done the work, it's hard to like to can you just you don't have an experience. So you know, life coaching, sometimes gets a bad rap. Like, you know, I'm not, I don't have a strategy for you, I will help you find one, I have tons of experts around me, I have my own framework to help you nurture your own strategy. But again, it's not one size fits all. And what I find joy with is when someone actually is all in, in the journey of discovery. Yes, it's like fame with me. Like, I feel like I'm Yeah, I have a week that I took off with you. But I'm so invested in wanting to be all in in your world. And that's what those are the type of clients I'm looking for that they will do. They're just they will do whatever it takes to find out their own answers. And the ones that stay in it. Like I have a client that just was on my podcast. For years, maybe five, she went through her mother died unexpectedly during COVID. She's gone through a divorce all her kids, she's an empty nester, she's moved to Denver. I mean, you can't do that in the last three years, you can't make all those changes, and feel really solid and who you are, if you haven't done the work, because you're kind of constantly struggle and wish things were different. And, you know, maybe be in the victim mode. And she is so solid in who she is because she's done the work and had a safe community to, to work through the moments. And I mean, I think that's what, when I find the joy, it's when I see someone that is putting the work in and I will give everything I have like you do. But you got to do the work. It doesn't happen by just showing up for zoom call once a week and then I have my own coach. I work literally over an hour a day just to work through my own thinking and journaling. And it's it's a practice it's not like this work is not for everybody. It's not it's like you really want in like Okay, let's see what what what's what you're capable of that what what speaking to you. But you can't find those answers just by showing up once in a blue moon.

Todd McLaughlin: 59:03

Yeah, good point. How did the word that you coined souls to Gator? What was the lightbulb moment where that word came into your? Like frame?

Wendy Posillico: 59:14

Great question. So again, it's that push and pull. It's it's we've got to constantly instigate who we are meant to be, although we are born a certain way. But somewhere life maybe took us in a direction maybe that doesn't align with us anymore. And you have to create the questions, the curiosity, the discipline to explore like, what you're capable of being. And I believe it comes. It's not just the push. It's not just a thinking thing. It's it's all of us. It's our mind, body and soul and instigating who you're born to be. It's already in us. Our answers are in As if you if you create the space to allow it to rise. And that is, I believe our mission here is to live into the best version of who we were born to be. And it's constantly evolving. Yeah, life happens. Yeah.

Todd McLaughlin: 1:00:14

Yeah, amazing. Wendy, what a great, I'm so happy that we did this because I been wanting to get this opportunity. And I'm sorry, it took me so long to make this moment happened. But I feel like it's this is the perfect timing. And I'm really excited to help promote and encourage and be a part of your workshop in November in whichever way I can help. And hopefully, this podcast discussion will just help introduce you and our listeners to you. And just kind of continue to build what what what we're excited about, you know, I in the, in the attempt to move in the direction of closing our conversation together. And I hope that I can have you back again, and we can continue our conversation. Is there anything else that you feel is important for the world to embrace and this modern day?

Wendy Posillico: 1:01:16

All I know is, you know, there but yeah, life is hard sometimes. And it is we can't do it. I will say this, we can, each one of us needs a community needs, needs support, we you can't do it alone. Whether it's me whether it's Todd, find someone that speaks to you, and work on finding the things that make you come alive. Because the world if we all come from that place of of feeling knighted feeling the spark, we show up differently for other people who show up differently for ourselves. And if you are I also think if you are stuck, it's also about giving back find a way to give it's it feeds our soul, it teaches us about other people. It's not always comes from always about oneself. It's also we need to look out who we can even just a smile. How can I help you? If we if we can come from that? And also do the inner work? We can have a just help the world see things differently.

Todd McLaughlin: 1:02:42

Yes. Well said.

Wendy Posillico: 1:02:45

So yeah, thank you, I just love this conversation. I want to have gratitude to you for holding space for me at your studio. And for holding space for this, this message I have and what's to come. And so I just feel like we have such a, a, I don't know alignment of

Todd McLaughlin: 1:03:03

I know, I agree with you. And it's been so great. One chance to get to know you. And to learn more about you here and this opportunity to have a whole hour just to sit and chat. Thank you, everybody for listening. I have all the links that we mentioned throughout the conversation in the description below. Remember to check Wendy out at your website, living your June and on her podcast journey to June. Did I get it right? Yeah, I get it I'm cool. Thank you, Wendy. I can't wait to just see what happens. Like let's just chat put out in the world and see what happens.

Wendy Posillico: 1:03:45

That's it, like light.

Todd McLaughlin: 1:03:47

Right, right. That's right. We just existed, we didn't push too hard. We had to think a little bit like, don't you feel like when you do podcasts, your brain has to turn a little like, there's this little process to like, as you were saying that I had a thought where you know, like so one of my one of my thought processes while I'm doing a conversation or a podcast or an interview is like, you know, I'm listening to what you're saying. And I'm kind of trying to think in my mind. Okay, what's my next question, but, you know, if I get ahead of myself in that process, you might say a little bit more to where by the time I throw that idea, it's already behind the eight ball, right? So it's like such a momentary thing, like have to be so present. So I know then I was thinking, well, if I said to her right now, let's try to just exist and not do anything. Like we're not going to try right now. We probably would land at silence. Do you agree? Yeah. I mean, probably would land in silence. And I know in a podcast, it's like I'm not really tuning in to just listen to silence, but I know that I know probably listening actually enjoy silence because you wouldn't be listening if you did, and I'm having just a guess. But you know what I mean? Like there's an element where if we were to just be on a podcast, we probably would drop down into some sort of meditative state where we'd be going contemplative or so, um, what do you think when I say that any thoughts pop in your head when I said that?

Wendy Posillico: 1:05:12

Because I feel like we're, you know, we're on Zoom, I lived down the road.

Todd McLaughlin: 1:05:17

Yeah, no, I wanted you to

Wendy Posillico: 1:05:19

say that what resonates with me is like, cuz we're Connect. Like, if I do a meditation by myself, while I'm sitting by myself in silence, something will pop up. But because I'm also connected to you to be in silence if we were connected by zoom, but I feel so connected to you as a human. And to have the silence together holding space together. And not saying anything. I, I wonder what would come up with the intention of like, we're here to serve your community on this podcast, and have a moment of silence. Let's try it. And uh, cool, actually.

Todd McLaughlin: 1:05:57

All right, so yeah, we're like the hour and three minute mark cool, so we'll just take like a minute. What if I just didn't say anything? We just stopped the whole recording. There'll be no sound effects to people will be just listening with their headphones on and be like, Wait, is it over? No, you're gonna hear it. You're gonna hear the closing music here in just a second. Wendy, thank you so much. Let's do it again.

Wendy Posillico: 1:07:15

Definitely. All right. Cheers.

Todd McLaughlin: 1:07:24

Native yoga podcast is produced by myself. The theme music is dreamed up by Bryce Allen. If you liked this show, let me know if there's room for improvement. I want to hear that too. We are curious to know what you think and what you want more of what I can improve. And if you have ideas for future guests or topics, please send us your thoughts to info at Native yoga center. You can find us at Native yoga center.com. And hey, if you did like this episode, share it with your friends, rate it and review and join us next time