Larisa Vivolo - Facilitating the Shift Toward Acceptance and Positivity

Join my special guest Larisa Vivolo. Larisa is a mental health counselor who believes in the individuality, uniqueness, and strength of each person. She is facilitating The Shift Retreat in West Palm Beach and during this podcast she shares her passion for inspiring positivity in her local community. We are excited to announce that Tamara McLaughlin will be leading a yoga class during this retreat.

Visit Larisa on her website: https://larisavivolo.com
Check out The Shift Retreat at: https://www.eventcreate.com/e/theshiftretreat
Follow The Shift Retreat on IG at: @theshiftretreat

During this podcast we discuss:

• The goal of facilitating The Shift Retreat
• Current state of mental health in the world. 
• Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy. 
• How to remove your own personal experience from your work? 
• Learning to listen to other people’s perspectives. 
• What does it mean to have a positive attitude toward body? 
• The stigma of mental health and medication. 
• and much more

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Transcript

Todd McLaughlin: 0:33

Welcome to Native Yoga Toddcast. So happy you are here. My goal with this channel is to bring inspirational speakers to the mic in the field of yoga, massage bodywork and beyond. Follow us @nativeyoga and check us out at nativeyogacenter.com All right, let's begin Hello, so happy to have Larisaa Livolo here today with me on the podcast. Larisa is so sweet. She reached out to Tamara, my wife, to help teach some yoga at a wellness retreat for women that she's offering called The Shift Retreat. It's October 13, through the 16th. It's going to be held here in West Palm Beach in Florida. And the information is in the show notes below. You're gonna see a link that's gonna say www.eventcreate.com/ie/theshiftretreat. So if you have any questions and or want to check it out, definitely click on that link. And she also made an Instagram page called the@theshiftretreat. So I'll have that link there as well. And you can connect with Larissa ask her if she has any questions. Larissa is a mental health counselor, and she, during this discussion shares some of her wisdom and insight in helping those of us that need a little bit of mental health coaching. And I think she does a great job of keeping it really down to earth and easy to understand and with like, pretty positive vibes. So I'm so happy for her to take the time to share with both myself and for us to be here for you. All right, well, on that note, let's go ahead and start. Oh, I'm so excited to have this opportunity to speak with Larisa Vivolo. Did I get your last name? Pronunciation proper?

Larisa Vivolo: 2:37

Yeah, everyone pronounces it differently. Vivolo. That's what it is.

Todd McLaughlin: 2:44

Sorry, Larisa Vivolo. It's so nice to meet you, Larissa and have an opportunity to speak with you. Thank you for joining me.

Larisa Vivolo: 2:52

Thank you.

Todd McLaughlin: 2:53

You're welcome. How are you doing today?

Larisa Vivolo: 2:55

Doing well. I'm doing well. I'm actually in New York right now visiting family, which is nice. But yeah, I'm doing well. How are you doing?

Todd McLaughlin: 3:04

I'm doing really good. I'm actually having a great day. I had a really challenging week last week. And so to come in today to the studio and feel really good. I was like a home sweet home. So happy to be back. So. So yeah, actually, I'm having a really, really good day. Thank you for asking. And you know, what I'm excited to this opportunity to speak with you is I met you through you invited my wife Tamra to help teach at a upcoming retreat that you're hosting here in Palm Beach County. And so I thought be I really want to saw your credentials and or what you're hoping to achieve from the event, I thought it'd be a great conversation to hear what your dreams and aspirations are. And on that note, can you talk or tell me a little bit about this upcoming retreat that you're going to be holding here?

Larisa Vivolo: 3:59

Yeah, definitely. So it's called The Shift. It's called The Shift Retreat. And it's an all inclusive woman's wellness retreat. So we're going to be staying at a really beautiful villa in West Palm Beach. It has beautiful, you know, bedrooms, and there's a heated pool and private, you know, sitting areas as a petting farm and tennis courts and Bible courts on property, which is really cool. But most importantly, it's kind of like what's going into it. It's going to be kind of like a blend of personal growth and self improvement, empowerment workshops with a bunch of different things that will help the woman feeling renewed and refreshed and re reconnected. So a lot of outdoor excursions, we're going to do a kayak excursion, and esthetician is going to come and do skincare and facials.

Unknown: 4:52

We're going to do a lot of yoga sessions of course with Tamra and they're going to be focused on self love and body acceptance and mindful Bonus, I'm gonna host a lot of guided meditations as well every day. And then, of course, the self, you know, improvement and personal growth workshops, which I'm really excited about.

Todd McLaughlin: 5:11

Wonderful. Yeah, have you done this before?

Unknown: 5:15

You know, I haven't I've, I've always wanted to do it. I've hosted and facilitated a bunch of groups, especially women's groups, but I've never actually hosted a retreat. So I'm really excited. You know, that this is my first one. And I'm putting so much you know, of course, my time and energy into it.

Todd McLaughlin: 5:34

Awesome. What are the dates?

Unknown: 5:37

The dates are October 13 to October 16.

Todd McLaughlin: 5:40

Nice. And are in I know, we'll have the links in the description below where people don't want to check out the information. The website will be down there. And it's a little bit of a longer name. It's like event. Can you tell me the name of the website again?

Unknown: 5:56

Yeah, it's event create.com. And then it's slash ie slash the shift retreat.

Todd McLaughlin: 6:03

Cool. Nice. Very nice. And can you tell me a little bit about what your background is in relation to your career?

Unknown: 6:12

Yeah, definitely. So I actually have a background in Nutrition and Exercise Science. I have a master's degree in both. And as I was getting, you know, my education and Nutrition and Exercise Science, I realized that mental health counseling was really what I wanted to do. So I went back and I got a master's degree in mental health counseling. So now I'm a licensed mental health counselor, and I absolutely love it. I just feel like it's my, my calling in life, you know, and so I love doing that. And I'm a psychedelic assisted therapist as well. So that's been really interesting to learn about and get certified in that.

Todd McLaughlin: 6:51

Very cool. And I saw that you're a new mom as well.

Unknown: 6:56

Yes, yeah.

Todd McLaughlin: 6:57

gratulations.

Unknown: 6:58

Thank you so much. I had my daughter four months ago. Her name's Lucci. Yeah, but we call her Lucy.

Todd McLaughlin: 7:04

Nice. Four months, so you're in the thick of it. Like, are you sleeping? Are you are you You know

Unknown: 7:10

what, thankfully, yes. She's in such a good sleep. Last night. She slept 11 hours. So we're really lucky in terms of you know how she's been sleeping.

Todd McLaughlin: 7:19

Yeah, that is amazing. 11 hours. That's almost, that's almost too long to where you're like, is she okay? Wanna have some fun with you? Like, don't sleep so long? Yeah. But you never wake a sleeping baby. I'm sure you've heard that. Yeah, of course. No way. Yeah. Oh, that's cool. That's amazing. So now are you New York native, or did you? Where did you grow

Unknown: 7:46

up? Yeah, so I'm actually originally from Long Island. Bellmore, New York. And my husband Vinnie and I, we met in college and he wanted to pursue golf. He wanted to be on the PGA Tour. So, after college in 2014, we ended up moving down to Palm Beach Gardens. And the first time I got off the plane and landed at PBA. I was like, this is I know, this is where I want to live. So yeah, so we live here permanently. We did live in Bend Oregon, for a year and a half, which was fun. But now we're permanently in Florida. And I love it.

Todd McLaughlin: 8:20

Very cool. And are you working with clients individually? Like you have a private practice? Currently? Yeah,

Unknown: 8:28

so I work out of a practice in Jupiter for right now. And I love that I work with couples, I work with individuals, I do some group work as well.

Todd McLaughlin: 8:40

Very cool. Is how did you take training and or get certified in the psychedelic assisted therapy?

Unknown: 8:49

Yeah, so I am, I was introduced to just how the impact of psychedelics specifically psilocybin, specifically on like trauma and addictions and depression, anxiety, and when I was introduced to it, I never even heard of it. So I, you know, did my research and I was I don't know if something kind of just clicked and I became certified through the integrative psychiatry Institute. And it was an amazing experience. I learned a lot i i work right now actually, with ketamine and individuals, but I really would love to, you know, my next step is getting into psilocybin specifically because that's what resonates with me the most

Todd McLaughlin: 9:34

Nice. Was that training while you're in Bend?

Unknown: 9:39

No, actually, I when I came to Florida, probably six months when I after living in Florida, that's when I began my certification.

Todd McLaughlin: 9:49

Gotcha. I recently saw a series on Netflix with Oh man, I hope she had to remember the name of it now. Michael Pollan,

Unknown: 10:01

Michael had to change your mind. Yes.

Todd McLaughlin: 10:03

And yeah. And I found that was fascinating. Because there's like four parts, and they just went through different elements. And when I saw the one where they were documenting how MDMA was used to help with PTSD and returning war veterans, it was really interesting. I highly recommend anyone listening to if you haven't seen it to check it out on Netflix, it's really quite fascinating. Have you checked that out? Have you seen that? I'm sure you're familiar with his work? Yes,

Unknown: 10:33

I've seen it. It's amazing. And it's actually based on his book, I, I read the book before I had my own personal journey with psilocybin. And it just helped to kind of just like ease, of course, nerves and things like that, but it's a great, a great Netflix series and book.

Todd McLaughlin: 10:49

Very cool. Well, that's amazing. So with the upcoming retreat, are you what is the like the food and like cook element? Is there someone to come and be like a chef? Or are you guys are you going to cook or?

Unknown: 11:05

Yeah, so this is another aspect I'm so excited about, we're actually having a personal chef, come and make homemade meals, he's gonna do a cooking class, I'm going to get catered other fruit from really, you know, really delicious places around West Palm, but the personal chef is going to come and teach us, you know, some cooking, you know, tips and things like that. So I'm really excited. That's cool. Yeah,

Todd McLaughlin: 11:30

I've never gone on a retreat. That's just a men's retreat. And I've heard a lot about it. And can you explain a little bit of the dynamic behind or the reason why you're choosing to do like, a women's only retreat?

Unknown: 11:46

Yeah, definitely. So I, I chose to do this retreat for a small group of women. So there will be seven women in total, eight, of course, including me. And my goal for these women is to just come and feel just reconnected to themselves and make genuine relationships with other people. It's going to, of course, of course, kind of entail some vulnerability, right. And I've due to my personal experience, working with clients and working with people. When we're talking, I guess about things that are very personal, you know, women can most like, you know, they could relate to each other of like, what they're going through. So that's why I chose to do an all women's retreat, especially just for this one, and kind of how I'm tailoring the personal growth workshops and, and different things like that.

Todd McLaughlin: 12:45

Nice. You said that I think you mentioned that you work with couples, as well, like in your current practice. Yeah. Is that something that you also would contemplate doing in the future? Like, is that is that even a thing like a Couples Retreat? I can't even say a couple's retreat without laughing from the moon. I mean, that's like, that's like the classic like male yoga stereotype, like, make fun of the male yoga teacher movie, like, but it is so hilarious. I mean, I love it is classic, would you? I mean, I guess holding a couple's retreat, like in a in a private home like this, would that be more difficult? Or? I mean, would it be? Seems like it'd be easier just to say like, this is a woman's retreat, or, you know, same sex. Yeah,

Unknown: 13:34

yeah, exactly. I am thinking though, of doing a Couples Retreat, I definitely believe in, you know, couples work and self improvement and how that you know, how that contributes to the overall relationship. So I definitely have thought about doing a Couples Retreat in the future. Haven't really thought about it in depth yet in terms of like, where it would be or how the program would really be designed. But I definitely think it would be effective for couples who are willing to kind of work on themselves and to, you know, to see that benefit within within their relationship.

Todd McLaughlin: 14:11

Nice. This is such a beautiful area. And often when we're thinking about doing in holding retreats, where like, my country should be good, too. Like, and more and more lately, I've been thinking, why would we travel somewhere else? Why not do it right here? Did you have a similar sort of thought process and the creation of this?

Unknown: 14:33

I actually did. Yeah. When I first decided that I was going to host a women's wellness retreat. I was like, alright, well, where do I do it? You know? And I was looking, honestly me like maybe I'll go back to Bend Oregon and do it something there, you know, and I was like, I live in we live in paradise. You know, like, why not just do it here. So that's when I was like, you know, it, it just works out especially to with, with Lucy her being you know, At the time, probably seven or eight months, so I wanted just to keep it you know, local, but of course it's you know, we live in paradise. Why? Why travel anywhere?

Todd McLaughlin: 15:11

Yeah, good point. That's smart. Also thinking, Yeah, with a baby, like traveling with a seven month old to Nepal might be a little bit more work. Yeah, that's cool. What is your personal experience with yoga?

Unknown: 15:29

I love yoga, I absolutely love meditation as well, I found so much so many benefits, I think both of them parallel the idea of, you know, kind of just going inside, right? Being mindful and being the observer of your thoughts and, you know, being able to respond to what's kind of going on inside of our mind. So yoga and meditation have really helped me specifically with my personal growth journey and being able to just regulate my emotions and choose how I respond to different events going on in my life. So I, you know, wholeheartedly believe in the practice of it.

Todd McLaughlin: 16:08

Nice. You said your degree is and nutrition exercise science, did you in terms of exercise science, was there a certain modality and, or like method that you were really attracted to when you were in school?

Unknown: 16:24

Um, I wouldn't say like a specific modality, I just truly believe in the benefits, of course of like, sort of exercise. And I wanted to learn kind of the in depth, I guess, mechanisms to physical activity and exercise. And that's why I decided to get a master's in exercise science. And I was thinking of creating a practice where I combine Nutrition and Exercise Science together. But now with my mental health counseling degree, you know, a lot of the times I do combined the importance of nutrition of exercise and physical activity with kind of mental health, as well.

Todd McLaughlin: 17:07

Nice. What are you seeing in the world of mental health in relation to our current environment? It's a broad question, broad question. But yeah, I'm just curious what your take is on when when you look around, and you're, if you were to take an evaluation or assessment of like, the mental health status of USA at the current moment, or the world I know, it's hard to speak on the world's behalf or anyone outside of you and our own personal experience, but what do you what are your thoughts on our current state of mental health in the world?

Unknown: 17:45

Yeah, well, when you say that, the first thing that comes to my mind is just like technology, right? And, you know, of course, technology has so many benefits to it, you know, but, of course, like anything in life, there's pros and cons. And when I think of mental health, right, I, I just automatically kind of think about, like, what I see all the time with my clients, and even just like me, personally, you know, have, we look at everybody else's kind of like highlight reels, right, and everyone type kind of post on Instagram, or social media about what's going on in their life or what they're doing. And, and we see everyone's highlight reels, but we don't really see what goes on behind closed doors. So in terms of mental health is like a country, right? I feel like, I feel like we just have to give ourselves permission to be human, almost have like, we all struggle, you know, we all have a story. And it's okay. Right, it's okay to struggle, it's okay to, you know, have a difficulty. But with social media, it's hard to almost accept that about ourselves if we feel like nobody else is going through that, if that makes sense. So I think that technology, of course, with all its benefits, has had a, somewhat of a negative impact on our mental health. And because of just the rise in technology, you know, I feel like it has had a direct correlation with our mental health.

Todd McLaughlin: 19:13

Yeah, I would have need to have prepared you to be able to answer this question. But do you know any of the stats currently with I guess, I mean, what is an indicator of mental health? The amount of suicides that are happening in the country is like, how do we measure good mental health? Like, is there a benchmark or a if we were to look at the stats, is it are we on an upward are things improving or going down? I'm not I'm not up on that.

Unknown: 19:51

Yeah, no, I know what you're saying. I think that we can measure it in all different ways. I, you know, so I can only really talk about My personal experience from what I've seen, and I'm just seeing kind of like a rise in anxiety, right or depressive symptoms, maybe someone doesn't have full blown major depressive disorder, but they may experience more depressive like symptoms, right? Such as, you know, not being motivated or helplessness, right, or just feeling lonely and isolated. Right. So, I think that we can measure mental health in terms of like, the symptoms that people are experiencing, and what are the what's causing those symptoms. And I think that a lot of different aspects have an effect, of course on, you know, people's mental health or mental well being.

Todd McLaughlin: 20:42

Yeah, that makes sense. Are what type of so I would imagine that studying in the world of psychotherapy, you come across all the great legends like Jung, and Freud, and was there a specific style or professional that you really gravitated toward? Or when you were studying and learning?

Unknown: 21:11

Yeah, so I am I, I really, really look up to and admire Carl Jung, Carl Jung, right, especially like his shadow work and things like that. But the approaches that I like to that I like to tell her my work towards is both they've psychodynamic, and, you know, solution focus. So like moving forward. So I'm all about kind of being aware, right? I feel that, you know, we can't make improvements or move forward, if we're not aware of what we have to improve upon, right. So I very much emphasize the importance of taking a step back and saying, Okay, what's going on with me, you know, like, what am I struggling with? What am I having a difficulty with? It's okay. You know, like, it's okay not to be okay. And so first and foremost, acceptance and awareness. And I like to explore like, Okay, where did that stem from? Right, maybe what happened in your childhood that led you to believe you're not good enough, right? Or, you know, you're not smart enough to do XY and Z, or you have a fear of this or that, right. So we I like to explore kind of where it stems from in the root causes. And then I like to say, Okay, well, now that we're aware, right, and that we accept the fact and that it's okay, now, what can we do about it? And that's kind of how I like to work with my clients. And, of course, on myself, right? I am a very big believer in practicing what I preach. So all of this work, especially for the retreat to the personal, in the personal growth workshops, you know, all come really from my own personal experience, as well.

Todd McLaughlin: 22:45

Nice. What were the two terms that you use, you said psychodynamic, psychodynamic, and solution focused, and the psychodynamic part is what you're speaking of in terms of becoming aware of trying to piece together why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling currently. Is that can you explain

Unknown: 23:03

kind of like a? Yeah, like an all encompassing kind of understanding of where the root causes are? Right, like looking at your childhood and understanding? Okay, maybe this is why I think this way, or this is why I have the belief that I have, so kind of, yeah, like, delving into your past a little bit or your childhood? Got it?

Todd McLaughlin: 23:26

I mean, I know, obviously, any questions I asked you, you know, you're practicing confidentiality, and you're not maybe even using any specific situation that you've come across with other people. But have you had a situation where somebody has blocked out things that have happened in their childhood?

Unknown: 23:51

Yeah, definitely. I've seen that a lot with trauma, especially, you know, we all have, we all have aspects of trauma, right. And they can be referred to like big T or little t, big T would be maybe physical abuse, sexual abuse, little t would be just an on a, obviously less severe scale, right. But yeah, I've definitely seen where clients have repressed or suppressed, you know, different things in their childhood as a form of protection as a form of not remembering. So the way I handle that, right is like, Okay, well, we work with how you're feeling now. Right? And we work with, okay, this is the belief This is the fear that I'm dealing with. And we obviously know it has probably come from childhood, right? But what can we do? How can we move forward? There's also another approach that I recently became trained in called EMDR. It's Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy and that is a really amazing thing. Repeat, especially with trauma and different, like phobias and things like that, where the bilateral stimulation connects some connects to kind of the subconscious mind, and it almost opens up a different aspect of your mind that you never really knew. Was there almost like things just start coming up because of this connection between the bilateral stimulation and what we're focusing on? That makes sense? It does. Yeah,

Todd McLaughlin: 25:28

let me try to repeat that back. I movement. EMDR while I'm in desensitization, and reprocessing processing, all right. Yep. All right. EMDR. So wait, so help me can you explain that a little bit more like you're saying like, something is being flashed, right, left, right, left, and my eyes are going back, side, side side side. And that does something to like, like, almost. Maybe like when you're watching a movie, and they kind of like do this like when, like, if we're they're trying to demonstrate a shifting of your awareness from one scene to another, let there be this like this, like, kind of rapid movement side to side? Is that what happens?

Unknown: 26:14

Yeah, kind of. It's so BLS is the bilateral stimulation, and it's for like, rapid eye movement. Right? So you would, yeah, so you would follow like my finger or a pen, or they have other kinds of tools. And what it does is we focus on something, right, something maybe a limiting belief or something, a fear, something like a negative belief, even a positive belief. And what we do is we work to desensitize you to that negative belief or that fear or that phobia, right. And then you pick a more adaptive belief or a positive belief that you could kind of reprocess and replace the negative belief with. And it's a really amazing therapy approach that I've seen a mate. Yeah, like, really, really great results with. And there's something that connects like, again, like the bilateral stimulation, as you're consciously and purposely thinking about, you know, specific thing.

Todd McLaughlin: 27:14

Yeah. Cool. That's interesting. What other techniques, what other techniques do you employ? And or have studied?

Unknown: 27:22

Yeah, so another technique that I love is called ifs, its internal family systems. And that's, that's an approach that I work with a lot to with my clients. And it pretty much is a theory. It's by Richard Schwartz. He's great. And he, he found that we all are made of parts, right. So, you know, a part of me is nervous to go to the party, but a part of me is excited, right? So we all kind of experiences on a daily basis of our different parts, and how one of the how one part of me feels this way, but the other part of me feels completely different. And what it pretty much says is this theory, we've had burdened parts, if that makes sense. So burden parts are exiles, right. So say we, I'll just give an example. So say we grow up in a household where, you know, we, we were embarrassed or we were extremely put down, right for not getting a good grade in school, say, and we felt that shame, we felt embarrassed, we felt not good enough, right? So a part of us or a protector Park would say, okay, so. So Larissa never feels this shameful or this embarrassed again, I am going to protect her right by by making her work even harder to get hundreds or A's on every single test. They're thereby after, right? So this perfectionist part is now a protector, if that makes sense. So the exile, its underlying it is that shamed? You know, maybe six year old, but this protector part came when I was feeling that way, and now protects me in my daily life or manages my daily life to, you know, have these perfectionist tendencies. Does that make sense? Does? Yeah, so ifs is a really great therapy to understand our different parts and work to heal them and kind of release them from these roles that they've been playing in our life.

Todd McLaughlin: 29:33

That's interesting. Do do find it hard or easy to as a therapist, remove your own personal experience when you're working with other people. Like I mean, like even just you telling me that story. I was flashing back to just recently with my son coming home with you grades, and me kind of like, alright, well, that was that, let's try to do better next time type of thing. Right? And like it brings even just you telling me that story brought my own kind of like, oh crap, am I damaging my own children? You know, like, with my perfectionistic traits? And and so sometimes I find it's, you know, it can be challenging to as a therapist, you know, remove my own personal stuff from when I'm working with other people do how do you balance that in your work?

Unknown: 30:40

Yeah, I think that's a really great point to bring up. Again, like what I was saying before, like, I'm a big believer in practicing what I preach. So I think that I've worked a lot on my own self awareness, right? Where I'm able to, like, if a part say, right comes up, or I'm thinking about, like, my own personal stuff, or like how that, you know, triggers or affects me, I'm able to take a step back, right? And I'm able to kind of almost like, talk to myself and say, Okay, this is about the client, you know, and I have to take that step back. So I think that it all comes down to awareness, and putting my own stuff, of course, aside, right, when I'm working with people, but if things do come up, and I am, you know, be a quote unquote, triggered, right? I'll make a mental note of that of like, okay, maybe I'll, you know, maybe I'll work on that, or I'll explore that more. Right. So it comes down to being aware of what is coming up, and then working on that myself.

Todd McLaughlin: 31:46

Yeah, good answer, or good point. It what is the obviously they teach you that when you're becoming a therapist, a popular topic in the yoga world, currently, is that as yoga teachers, we are needing to stay within our field of practice our scope of practice. And if somebody comes to us and says, I'm really depressed, I'm thinking of doing something really horrible, that instead of us trying to take on the role of the psychotherapist, and that we could refer them to a professional. And that, you know, sometimes I guess some of the criticism currently is that yoga teachers take on too many roles, like, we're going to try to teach you how to eat and we're going to try to teach you how to move and then we're going to try to be your health counselor, and we're gonna, and in actuality, that might be way outside of our scope of practice. Have you? Do you have situations where you have to refer out to other people? And or what type of advice could you give somebody who feels like maybe they are being pulled outside of their scope of practice? And how could they keep their professional professionalism?

Unknown: 33:07

Yeah, definitely. I think that's a huge thing. Especially in, you know, just wanting to help people, you know, and especially being like a yoga instructor or therapist, or any really kind of health care provider, like we want to help people, right. So it's hard to say, okay, you know, maybe I'm not the person, right to do this. So, yes, I've definitely had instances where I'm just like, you know, reminding myself, although I would love to be the one to help this person, maybe I'm not the right fit for them. Right. And that's okay. And coming to accept that and be able to acknowledge that about like myself of like, okay, I'm not that that person for this person. And that's when you know, I refer out

Todd McLaughlin: 33:56

nice. Yeah, that's a big one. That's cool. Have you ever had a situation in a group setting where it's gotten out of control?

Unknown: 34:09

In terms of like, not being able to,

Todd McLaughlin: 34:12

like, I'm just going to just randomly pick some scenario, like, say, there's a group of people you're holding space for, and a big argument comes up between two of the participants like, major clashing going on. I know everything is so like, dependent on the exact situation in the moment and just breathing and just like getting people to like, calm down and relax. But have you ever had any, like, really heavy situations or situations where you thought, how am I gonna get out of this, but you've been able to, like, you know, smooth it out?

Unknown: 34:49

Yeah, I mean, I definitely think that first and foremost, it's about like, being able to regulate my own emotions in that in that instance, right and being able to be like, okay, like, what, what do I do? But yeah, just, you know, giving, being able to calm the situation right down and just like deregulate deregulating the entire kind of, you know what's going on. But then, you know, I think it's really important if especially in a group setting like this right, to be able to express, you know, how they're feeling and working on listening to somebody else, right. So once the air is clear, I guess, right, and like, they are calm, and, you know, I like to be able to, like, reflect on what happened and being like, Okay, well, let's listen to this person's perspective. And then they'll listen to your perspective. And I think that's what's most important is realizing that like, we all have different perspectives and lens, you know, filters in the way we see things, and a huge part of self improvement and improvement in, you know, in general as being able to listen to someone else's perspective and being okay with their perspective being different than yours. So, in terms of what you're saying, when a group and if it kind of gets out of hand, right, of course, you know, getting it to be okay, and leveled out, but then almost using it as an opportunity to, to work on to work on themselves.

Todd McLaughlin: 36:20

Yeah. Great answer. I know, we're heading closer towards 2024, obviously. And, you know, like, with elections and politics, I remember last time around, like, it got so intense, like so heated. So everything you just said, sounds like, that'd be cool. If you could get out like on a national level and just kind of educate all of us. Yeah. Just try to listen to other people. Yeah. Going to prove a point. Yeah. Yeah, it's a big one. That's a big one that actually

Unknown: 36:58

when it comes to politics, right, because, yeah, kind of like, the heaviest topic right now. Especially, you know, the last election of we couldn't even people couldn't even listen to each other, right? Or give people the decency of like, what they're saying. It's just what they believe. And, you know, if we want to all get along, and we don't have to all get along, just move forward. Right? Just you have to learn to respect other people's perspective and opinion. And just because they believe something you don't doesn't mean they're wrong, or they're right. It's, it's just the perspective.

Todd McLaughlin: 37:36

Yeah. Great point. Are you an avid reader?

Unknown: 37:42

I am I love reading.

Todd McLaughlin: 37:44

Is there anything you can recommend us, me the listener, something that you're reading that you get some inspiration from? And do I want to have another question after that, but I'll leave. I'll I go there first.

Unknown: 37:54

Yeah, so I'm just going to kind of think about my recent books. No bad parts by Richard Schwartz is a great book with the IFS what I was talking about before internal family systems perspective, it's kind of for like the average reader consumer. I love. I love that book, The Untethered Soul by Michael singer.

Todd McLaughlin: 38:16

I love that one.

Unknown: 38:17

You love it? Yeah, is one of my favorites. And raising good humans is a great book. It's it's geared towards parenting, of course, and I was reading it, you know, when I was pregnant, but it's almost just like a self improvement book for anybody. It's just geared towards parenting. And it's, it's a really, really great book that I would highly recommend anybody read, especially, you know, young parents or parents in general.

Todd McLaughlin: 38:48

Nice. I'll definitely check those out. I appreciate that. And you've authored a book.

Unknown: 38:55

Yeah, yeah. So I published a children's book called Quindlen? It's a rhyming children's book. It's about a, it's about a young boy, he's disabled, he has a prosthetic leg, and he's on his journey to find a puppy that's different and unique, like he is. And he, you know, the book kind of follows his journey of finding his perfect kind of puppy. And it's, it's a fun, it's a fun children's book. Which is, which was cool to publish that. And I'm also I'm also in the midst of publishing my, my other book called Change your glasses. And that's, that's more geared towards you know, of course, adults and how to change our perspective and it's goes through it's 10 chapters, right? And it's almost like a guide and a it's almost like a guide, an interactive book, where you read a chapter and then you apply what you learn to your own life.

Todd McLaughlin: 39:54

Nice. How long did it take you to write that?

Unknown: 39:58

So I've been working on This book for a long time, I used to host I used to host like these mini self improvement like workshops on those called Bata tude and all the topics that I would use, I put into this book pretty much I condensed it and put it into this book. So I've been working on this for a while, I wouldn't say like consistently right? Where it's kind of been my number one priority. But now, you know, I'm very dedicated to very dedicated to publishing it within like, you know, the next couple of months probably

Todd McLaughlin: 40:33

nice. Body tattooed meaning body attitude. Yeah, so like a bad attitude or a bad attitude or a bad attitude,

Unknown: 40:45

bothered to do it D and that in my head originally means gratitude for your body. And the slogan for my whole program body tude was gratitude for your body, your life and everything in between. So the whole focus on my program body tude was gratitude. And looking at your life with an with a thankful kind of lens.

Todd McLaughlin: 41:09

You made mention of doing a child's book about someone with a prosthetic leg and seeking a pet that has a similar or unique Ness about them. And then you mentioned positive attitude toward body. Is that a theme that you keep bumping up against about our lack of appreciation for our bodies? Is that something that keeps? That's like a real prevalent theme? When you're working counseling with folks?

Unknown: 41:43

Yeah, I find that a lot of the times we look at what we don't like about ourselves, especially females, but of course men too. You know, we focus on what we don't like, right, the negative aspects. And I think it's just so important to look at our bodies and everything that they you know, our bodies does do for us on a daily basis and look at it more with a grateful I rather than a lack. Yeah.

Todd McLaughlin: 42:12

That's a huge one, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. I can remember as a kid, I won't go into the details, but just having one specific thing that I just obsessed about, that I was so embarrassed about. And now I'm I'm like, Why did I can't even really figure out why that was such a big deal. You know what I mean? But it's amazing. I'm sure there's a reason and I'm not asking you to help me to discover that right now. But it just amazes me that something that was so silly, and not even, like worth my attention or else's attention. It wasn't on anyone else's radar, but that it just had such a negative feeling about that. Like, it's, it's amazing how powerful that is.

Unknown: 43:06

It really, it really is. And you know, it, it's funny, because we're our own worst critics, right? A lot of the times like something that we're so critical about or focus so, so much on, nobody even realizes or notices it. Right. So, you know, I just think body acceptance and of course, always room for improvement. You know, there's always room to like better ourselves, especially our bodies. But first is like, Let's be thankful we even have a body, right, let's be thankful we even have what we do have, and appreciate that and then work on the things that you want to improve upon. Yeah, so yeah, so to answer your question, yeah, it's definitely been a theme throughout my career and through my work.

Todd McLaughlin: 43:48

Yeah, yeah. What else are you seeing as big issues these days, you mentioned like say, body self acceptance, the rise of social media and the decline of our self worth? What are other big ones that you're seeing consistently pop up?

Unknown: 44:14

I find that a lot of people too, too, just popping up into my mind like the imposter syndrome, which is just like feeling incapable, right of like, maybe in work right? I'm just not as good as other people or I can't do what what she or he does and just not feeling good enough. So I find that is a you know, is very prevalent in the work that I do and coming to realize that like, at the end of the day, we're all human, right? Like we're all prone to mistakes and we all have something we all have a story we all have a struggle. So you feeling incapable, right? is kind of just limiting yourself because you're up against just another human being just like You, right, and we could all improve upon upon something. But I, you know, I do want to say that the stigma towards mental health, I think has really improved. Just even the younger generation too, it's just such a more accepted thing to, you know, have mental health issues or to be going through a difficulty and to go get help. Right, I find that a lot of people are much more willing to say, Yeah, I go to therapy, right, or even, like, proud of it. And, you know, years ago, that wasn't even the case. Like, if you got to therapy, like you don't want nobody talked about it.

Todd McLaughlin: 45:39

Right? Yeah. Yeah. You gotta hide that. Yeah,

Unknown: 45:43

exactly. So I think that's a really, you know, positive thing that I'm so that I'm so happy about?

Todd McLaughlin: 45:50

What is your take and your feelings on, obviously, as a psychotherapist, and not a psychiatrist, you aren't able to prescribe medicine? And so then I'm guessing there's situations maybe in that whole element of referring out, are there situations where becomes very clear to you that a little bit of help from the psychiatry side where maybe if say, there's like bipolar or something that could be regulated with some medicine? Are you really open to that? Do you? Are you more, not wanting people to do that? What is your whole feeling on that?

Unknown: 46:32

I'm totally open to that. I think that medication is an amazing thing that when someone really needs it, like, it's their right, and I think like everything else in life, there has to be a balance, right? So do I believe in Okay, first trying a holistic way of like, okay, what can I do to, you know, to make myself feel a little bit better, but in terms of like, what you're saying, yeah, like bipolar or schizophrenia, or, you know, that requires medication, and that's okay. And I always like to say to it's like, you know, if we're diagnosed with diabetes, for instance, you know, we take medication to help with our diabetes, it's the same thing, right? We're just dealing with mental health symptoms.

Todd McLaughlin: 47:20

Nice. Yeah, I agree.

Unknown: 47:23

Yeah. So yeah, I totally agree with medication, but again, like balance like that, to me, it's like the first resort, right, depending, of course, on your situation, and it's all individualized. But the first, you know, resort is okay, maybe what can I do? Right? Like, how can I change my lifestyle around a little bit? Am I exercising? Maybe I should start taking a walk right, or, you know, so things like that. I would recommend starting first, but you know, medication ism is an option.

Todd McLaughlin: 47:54

And that's what I found really interesting about Michael Pollan, special on Netflix, when he was chronicling the gentleman that really kind of pushed the MDMA research possibility. I thought that was interesting that like that, there's so much potential with that side of it, that hopefully that will be made more acceptable if there if it's done in a clinical and professional fashion. So I really yeah, I hope that that also works out.

Unknown: 48:27

Me too. Me too. I think that psychedelic psychedelic work is so it's so incredible, and it's so amazing that we've gotten this far too, with with psychedelics, I'm so excited to see where it's going, where it's going to be maybe in like the next 510 years, and I'm so thankful that I'm part of that, you know, of that wave because I truly believe in the healing effects of psychedelic medicine.

Todd McLaughlin: 48:54

That's really cool. That was after I watched that special I thought that's it. I'm going back to school, I want to become a psychotherapist. I don't wait if you got me, it was a really cool special. So Well, I appreciate all that is, um, if you couldn't paint like your ideal dream scenario for this particular retreat that you're going to be leading in October, like what what is your I feel like I got a good idea of what your vision is, but if you have a really kind of clear picture that you could paint for us, like what you would hope that this type of retreat will lead to.

Unknown: 49:38

Yeah, so. Okay, so I, my ultimate goal, right is for women just to come and have the willingness. I want people just to come and be open right to working on themselves and allowing themselves to relax and to take in kind of like the You know, the empowerment workshops that we're going to be doing, but also, you know, making, making genuine connections there as well. I'm a huge believer in kindness and, and just kind of making everybody feel comfortable and like they belong. And that's going to be the foundation of this retreat. So my ultimate vision is for the seven women to come in with an open mind, right, and whatever stage of life or whatever's going on in their mind, to know that it's okay, right, that what they're going through, and that they will be accepted, and included at this retreat, and I hope that they leave, feeling that way, feeling renewed and refreshed, and, you know, less stressed, you know, and just with a newfound awareness of what may have been holding them back in terms of their fears, limiting beliefs, beliefs, the narratives that they're creating in their mind and a, a clear direction of where they want to go. So I want them to leave the retreat, feeling like they know how to move forward in their life. And that's my goal is or, or the retreat. Yeah,

Todd McLaughlin: 51:10

that's awesome. Well, yeah, I really do appreciate you reaching out to Tamra to have her be a part of it. So I know, she's really excited about that. So excited for her to be a part of it.

Unknown: 51:21

I can't wait, thank

Todd McLaughlin: 51:22

you, and I'm so happy, or I appreciate you taking time out of your busy day. I know having a little one. It's it's not easy to get childcare and niche out an hour. So I really appreciate you doing this with me today. And you shared a lot of great ideas and insights, is there anything that you would like to close with or any kind of final thoughts and or inspiration that you'd like to leave us with here?

Unknown: 51:51

Um, it's just what's coming up in my head is that, you know, it's okay not to be okay, right, we're all in the same. We're all in it together. We're all human beings. And what matters most is kind of like how we respond to that and what we choose to do, right? Because at the end of the day, we all have a choice. So that's just what popped up in my mind when you said that

Todd McLaughlin: 52:18

well done. I know it's not easy to be sprung. Alright, and how give us your final synopsis on life universe and everything. And your tour lessons and says now. Well, that was great. I really appreciate it. So thank you so much time.

Unknown: 52:38

I appreciate it, too.

Todd McLaughlin: 52:39

Thank you and I will be in touch and I look forward to future conversations.

Unknown: 52:44

Yeah, me too. Thank you.

Todd McLaughlin: 52:45

Thank you. Native yoga taught cast is produced by myself. The theme music is dreamed up by Bryce Allen. If you liked this show, let me know. If there's room for improvement. I want to hear that too. We are curious to know what you think and what you want more of what I can improve. And if you have ideas for future guests or topics, please send us your thoughts to info at Native yoga center. You can find us at Native yoga center.com. And hey, if you did like this episode, share it with your friends, rate it and review and join us next time